Delusion
by Anya-Paradox
Summary: AU. I wasn't sure what was real and what was not anymore. Did it even matter, when I was in love with the man who could either be insane or honest? Did I want to hear the truth when it could steal my hopes? Delusion or Reality? Could I choose? JxT
1. Part One: Reality

**Delusion**

_Part 1: Reality_

A/N: Here I go again, just starting new stories. I swear I WILL finish every story I have started in time. Anyway, hope you like this one; it's a new string of ideas that hit me a while back. Kind of AU, but not completely.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Class of the Titans, and it is doubtful I ever will.

_// Life Is Passing You By And You Are Stuck in This Place You Are In, This Ordinary Place That You're In And I'm Stuck With YOU. //_

White has never really been my color. I have always been more of a green person, or maybe a nice daffodil yellow. Although, I truly doubted my pale and drawn complexion was completely because of the ivory clothes and environment I had now been in for twenty-six hours. My head pounded from exhaustion, or from the extreme bun I had pulled my usually lustrous hair into this morning.

Coffee. I _needed _some more coffee.

Detouring to the faculty lounge, I passed a patient talking to his heart monitor. He was a sweet old man, completely blind, with strange white-blue eyes. Sometimes he claimed that he could tell prophecies, and the staff would often listen to him for amusement, or to be kind.

Today, I didn't have time. I quickly raced to the coffee machine and poured the biggest double double I could. In the mirror, I glanced at my face. Mascara was re-applied, and I pinched my cheeks for some color. Lip chap completed my look of non-death.

I was pretty sure this new case of mine would be the death of me via exhaustion. Desperately I needed to go home and fall into my bed… alone. As usual. But my lack of a social life, or a boyfriend was beside the point. Apparently the case that had come in just last week was… beyond the norm.

He had been sent by the courts of law, prohibited from any weapons, or free time outside the center. It was mandatory he stayed in maximum security until I, or someone with my calibre of skill could enter his mind. Seeing as how I was the leading doctor in the world when working with the TOUCH, I was the only one for the job.

The TOUCH was otherwise known as Therapeutic Observation/Utilization of Cerebral Healing. The newest innovation in the psychological world, the TOUCH made it possible for a highly trained individual (like myself) to actually enter the patient's thoughts and help them from inside their brain. It was used only in the direst of situations, with only the people who needed serious help that could not be given by standard psychological practices.

One of my closest friends, Odie Wichmore, owned a company called '**Merlin's Beard!'** which dealt with all manner of inventions, technologies and innovations. It was Odie who had invented the TOUCH two years ago; and I became the first person in the world to be projected into another's brain. Odie himself had volunteered to try out the TOUCH from the receiving end, and had asked me to direct it. I had been working at the Vancouver General Hospital in the Psychiatrics ward for five years, and was Odie's most trusted friend.

I instantly fell in love with the TOUCH after that first time, and could see all the possibilities it held for people with incurable mental disorders. Odie and I started studying it, and eventually Universities developed courses to learn how to handle this device. Unfortunately, all students who are in these courses aren't graduated yet. I am the leading doctor and expert in the world on how to handle someone else's brain from the inside, and on using this therapy to help them, instead of harming them.

So now, because of the unusual level of my professionalism at this age, I practically lived at the hospital I used to love. Not that I didn't love helping the patients, and letting them re-enter the world happy and safe, I just didn't like devoting my youth to just this cause.

I still wanted a family! Although, that was getting ahead of myself, because for that I needed a _boyfriend_.

But that old hurt was for another time, and I couldn't afford to be distracted when I met my newest case, and the third case of the TOUCH. The first had been a true success, and the woman who I had cured was happier than ever. The second case had been a true disaster, and sometimes I still awoke at night with some of the images I had seen from his mind. But he was alive, if missing and on the run, and the public knew nothing of our true failure.

Third time's the charm. Or so I had heard, and true hope blossomed in my breast as I entered the room that connected to the patient's room. A two way mirror showed the room containing my ex-roommate Nancy, another psychologist who had lost interest in the TOUCH after the second patient's failure. She couldn't handle the repercussions it had had on me; the nightmares that had made me scream in my sleep, waking her up. She worried that it would drive me to death.

Perhaps. Perhaps it still would.

Today, it was not Nancy who drew my eyes, or the painful thoughts about the loss of her friendship that distracted me.

Instead, it was man who sat beside Nancy that shocked me, and made my very blood heat. He sat there, secured to the floor and to his chair, staring at Nancy very calmly, and responding to her questions very politely. He seemed composed, under control and very rational.

I didn't quite understand, and I really didn't want to start treatment on him. He looked like a normal guy, a normal _man._ Someone my father would be thrilled for me to come home with. Someone who I would be interested in.

But besides this point –this point of how normal he was- was the absolutely true and unarguable point that he…

Was…

**Gorgeous.**

"Dr. Davis?" A voice interrupted my trance. "Jason Cameron is ready for you, although he isn't answering Nancy's simple questions. Says he doesn't need a doctor, and that he would please like her to release him."

I shook myself, never before had a man drawn me in like that, I was the ice princess. No one could get close to me; no one could inspire passion in me! I turned to the nurse who was staring at me, waiting for my reply.

"Why is he in here? We aren't allowed to hold him against his will, you realize that? He has to choose Jail if he has committed a crime, or willingly place himself into psychiatric care."

"Dr. Davis… he killed at least three people last week, and was found near death with a sword in a children's high school with blood all over. The blood was a mixture of his own, and other's who have yet to be identified. The state wants to give him the death sentence, but his family is so influential, that he may only get time in the mental ward." The nurse told me, and I imagine he may have thought I was crazy myself.

I felt my mouth drop open. Perhaps I was crazy to be so attracted to him? But this man –this _beautiful _man- was a killer?! No way. Something was wrong here…

But then again, I had been wrong once before. And I had accepted the consequences of that error. Or, I should say, someone else had paid for my mistake. _'Oh Atlanta, I'm so __**sorry**__!" _The thought flitted across my mind, staining it with blood and regret. I hardened myself against this Jay Cameron. I didn't care who he was, or how wonderfully inviting he looked under the harsh lights. He was a patient, and I would fix him.

"Well, we will try and convince him to accept our help, and the TOUCH sessions. If he refuses, the justice system can have him." I said bluntly. The nurse stared at me balefully, then finally nodded, turning his eyes to the two way mirror.

For the first time, I heard Jay speak, and the reaction my body took left me reeling. His voice was deep, soft, and tender. A lover's voice that caressed every inch of my body when he wasn't even aware that I could hear him.

What was happening to me!?

"I'm sorry; I just don't feel comfortable telling you my life story. Could I please leave, I don't understand why I am here." Jay's soft, controlled voice screamed that he was of noble and proud birth.

"Mr. Cameron, please understand that we cannot let you go. We are holding you for a twenty-four hour period. After that, we cannot hold you; however, the law is planning on charging you with a variety of offences. If you would just sign here and accept mental help, we could start therapy."

"I do not need therapy!" Jay thundered. I was shocked; he had finally lost his temper. I prepared to rush into the room and sedate him, but almost as soon as he finished his statement, he seemed to regret it. "I'm sorry ma'am, I didn't mean to yell at you and take out my frustration. If I could please talk to another doctor about my situation?"

Nancy smiled, but it held none of the warmth I was used to seeing in her face. She nodded calmly to him, and left the room.

I knew it was my turn to try, and for that, I hated him.

I couldn't even imagine the affect this man would have on me when I was in the same room. Why was he so… so… magnetic?! If I was my grandmamma, I would say we had known each other in another life. But I was not my grandmamma and I had spent most of my life trying to differentiate myself from her.

"Theresa… you're up." Nancy's eyes and voice held worry for me, and I could have kissed her for her caring. Instead I gave her my bravest and most beautiful smile and walked out the door and into my future.

_// Oh Gods How Good Would It Be If You Trusted Me And I Believed In You? //_

I walked into the room, and once more his looks stunned me. I tried to ignore the way his head was turned away from me, staring into the mirror. But at the same time, I used his distraction to stare at him. His skin was a dark gold, and for an instant I wanted to laugh hysterically at the thought of him using a tanning bed. But that desire faded as I understood that it was his completely natural skin color. Instead, another type of craving hit me, and I realized that I wanted him to turn and see me! I wanted him to look straight into my eyes and not notice that I was all alone, and absorbed in my education and career! I wanted him to think for just one moment that I was crazy and wild and a patient in here with him.

Most of all, I just wanted him to look at me like I was beautiful, something that hadn't happened since I was a child. I had never really known what was wrong with me, why boys had never really gravitated towards me the way some did to my best friend Atlanta.

With her name, I remembered that I wasn't supposed to be noticing how amazing he looked. I tried to stop –I _really_ tried- staring at his shoulders, and how broad they were. Or at his arms, which, even though they were secured, looked to be strong and able to wrap around me and protect me from the world. His hair was a dark brown, with blonde strewn throughout it. It looked natural, like his complexion; perhaps it had been lightened from the sun?

I had thought that perhaps my blood was cooling, my heart would slow down and the permanent blush on my white face would fade now that I had taken my share of staring. It did, for a moment, but then Mr. Cameron turned from the mirror, and looked at me.

I was lost.

I knew it before he even used his magical voice again.

His face was… unbelievable.

It was the only way I could ever do it justice, to use that word. Cheek bones so finely structured, they made me jealous. His eyelashes were sinfully long and almost feminine, and they fell upon cheeks that I longed to run my knuckles across. Lips that begged for my kisses were pursed in frustration, and I almost lost my composure when his tongue flicked out to moisten them. But all of these observations were taken in an instant, and then I had found my one true passion in this world.

His eyes.

They were the darkest and clearest dark brown I had ever seen. I had always been of the opinion that brown eyes were boring, but I knew at this moment, that I had always been trying to compare all the other brown eyes with Jay's.

He stared at me, and I stared at him and for that one instant, he completely captured my soul. I knew it was wrong to get emotionally and intimately involved with a patient, let alone a murderer… but… damn the rules! If he hadn't been secured to the floor, and I hadn't known about the people watching us, I would have spent the next five hours making sweet love to him.

But, as it was, I knew about the rules, and the people behind the mirror, and Jay Cameron stayed connected to the floor, and trapped in his chair.

I wished it wasn't that way, and I wished I had met him in the grocery store, or the mall, or in a restaurant. I wished we were normal, and could be together, love each other, have a family… and oh gods, what would it be like to just… hold him?

But things seem to change as time goes on, and eventually… I wished that we could come back to this simple time, of when things could or couldn't be, all based upon who was watching, and who was trapped.

"Theresa?" He whispered, his voice poignant and catching. His eyes –for they were all I could stare at- showed desperation I had never known before entering this room.

I laughed shakily, trying to pull myself together, "Is that what Nancy told you to call me? Well, you may if you wish. But most people call me Dr. Davis."

Jay's eyes hardened slowly, with pain, and determination, and anger. But he didn't raise his voice, or rail at me like I almost expected him too. Instead, he leaned as close as he could to me, and smiled… almost… mockingly.

"Are you going to be my doctor, if I sign this sheet and submit myself to your TOUCH program?"

"Yes, I would be if you decided to be a part of our TOUCH program. At the TOUCH, we like to-"

I was shocked when he gently tossed the clipboard to the floor at my feet, along with the pen. It was signed.

But that wasn't what scared me, what rattled me was that he had gotten the clipboard and the pen without my knowledge, and both of them were considered weapons when in the hands of patients.

"That is what you wanted, is it not?" He asked me, his voice smooth and steady.

"Yes," my voice was breathless, "But eventually I need you to explain to me about your arrest, and why you were in that school."

"Of course."

"And you do know that you just signed away your privacy to me correct? I will know everything you think, and everything that goes on in your mind."

Jay smirked, and a flash of someone else came into the room. He was playful, and kind, and wonderful and not at all bitter or jaded. Not at all insane, or malicious.

"Not like that's anything new to me."

I didn't understand his comment, and I didn't particularly want to. It spoke of someone else, someone he cared about. Back when he looked so carefree. Perhaps she had died? Or left him? I didn't want to know. I pressed away the uncalled for jealousy that invaded my blood. He was hurting, and perhaps it was this person he seemed to care for and speak of that had done this to him.

Maybe I didn't even need the TOUCH to discover why the deep pain was in this man. Maybe I would just figure it out by myself. And if he was being wonderfully compassionate as he was now, why would I try and distance myself from him?

What if I could heal him, save him, and keep him?

"Have a nice day." His voice bit into me, "Now leave me alone in peace, Theresa."

Before I could think, I had waltzed out of the room, obeying his order unconsciously. Would I always react this way, as if he had been a great leader, a man whom I would follow to the end of the earth?

_If someone jumped off a bridge, would you jump after them?_

Perhaps. Perhaps I would.

_// When Your Mind Is Gone, Your Body's Lost, Your Soul Is Finished, But I Am Here //_


	2. Chapter 2

_Part 1: Reality_

A/N: Okay, so I am so pleased with the response this story has had! Thanks to all my reviewers. I am happy Jay was gorgeous enough for you, and his mystery hasn't been solved yet. Of course, I don't expect you to solve it yet, not enough hints by _far_! And I apologize; Angst Queen has struck again in this and the next chapter. Random fact? Tomorrow is my birthday :) REVIEW?

Disclaimer: I don't own Class of the Titans; however I do own the TOUCH idea. It's a gooder huh? Now if only I truly COULD invent it… perhaps Odie and Merlin's Beard could help me?

_// And Home Is A Feeling I Found In You //_

Home was perfect, and warm and cozy, exactly as I had left it. I had no complaints about the cheery yellow and cream walls and soft plush grey carpet. I loved my apartment; it was exactly as I had always dreamed of it. Luxurious red couches stood in the small sitting room, and my kitchen held green cupboards. The paint was starting to chip, but instead of detracting, it made it look homey.

My house had always been my sanctuary from work, and there was nothing I loved more than the huge wrought iron bed that was literally from the 1900's. It had taken Odie's best friend Herry to carry it up here; it was as heavy as an upright piano.

The bed a Queen, and every time I looked at it, I felt like a princess. The comforter was a royal blue, the sheets a crisp grey. The sheets had cost more than my rent, and pillows had been piled all over it, ranging from thin and cheap, to fluffy and feather. The bed posts were dark, and it was a high bed.

All in all, it was a complete sanctuary from all the chagrin I was experiencing at the hands of Jason Cameron. I felt happy, and ignorant of my recent depression.

The only thing I didn't like about coming home was that sometimes I felt just so… alone.

It was lonely in my tiny world of yellow and green and royal blue shades. My abundance of pillows and creature comforts did nothing for my social health. I just wanted a friend, a roommate, a boyfriend. Even a child would be welcomed at this point, actually.

I sat on my bed, joyful at the way I just sunk into absolute bliss. I turned to see my large brown teddy bear my Grandmamma had bought me as a little girl. Imagination took over, and I instead saw a man, with large gentle hands and golden skin. A slight kind smile, sandy hair and eyes so deeply brown they sunk into my very heart.

Jay.

I grabbed the teddy mercilessly and tossed it across the room. Stupid patients and his good looks. Flopping onto my stomach, I purged my mind of Jason, and demanded that my body fall into a deep _dreamless_ sleep.

Luckily for me, the day I had gone without sleep kicked in, and before I could pull the blankets over me, sleep descended. The last thing I saw was Jay's hand pulling the blankets over me and his lips on my forehead in complete comfort.

_// If A Stupid Poem Could Fix This Home, I'd Read It Everyday //_

Sunlight streamed over me, and I knew I had slept enough to survive, but not enough to be completely rejuvenated. The blankets were wrapped around me and I snuggled down into them before realizing that they had been at the foot of the bed before.

I launched myself into a sitting position, managing to gasp out, "Jay!"

Odie sat in my rocking chair, staring at me strangely, "I'm Odie. Theresa, do you have a boyfriend!?"

He sounded so excited and pleased for me, I couldn't say no. Odie had been waiting forever for me to get married and settle down. He believed it was wrong that a 'nice, decent girl' like me spent my life at work.

"I guess you could say… that." I replied. How could you say that? Jay was _not_ a friend, he was a patient.

And he was not a boy either. There was _nothing_ boyish about him.

Odie leaped out of the chair and yanked me to my feet, "Oh I am delighted. When can I meet him? His name is Jay? Herry had a friend named Jay once, said he was an amazing guy."

I smiled, worry and guilt for lying curling into my insides, "Well, you can meet him…" I trailed off, "How in the heck did you get in here!?"

Odie laughed, completely oblivious to my topic change. For a genius, he was horribly dense sometimes, "I have a key remember?"

I frowned, completely forgetting Odie's key to her apartment. He used to use it constantly, waiting for me after work, popping in on his way to the shop. But Odie hadn't been here in almost a month, and when he had last been here we had discussed only the TOUCH. Why would he suddenly come here?

And why had he been so busy before?

"You haven't visited in a long time Mr. Wichmore." My voice was frosty. Odie blinked then flushed.

"I'm sorry; I have been busy with TOUCH order forms." His voice was insincere. I could always tell when Odie was lying, which always made it worse for me when I lied to him.

"Odie, do _you_ have a girlfriend!?" I shrieked, so caught up in my own enthusiasm I forgot my strange situation. I had an imaginary boyfriend who was based after a psychotic patient of mine… good.

He flushed right to the tips of his afro, which was difficult due to his lovely dark complexion. "Uhh."

That was enough of a conformation for me, and immediately I threw my arms around him and congratulated him in a dance. Racing to the kitchen, I threw on leftovers for dinner, realizing this was the first meal I had eaten in like three days.

"Theresa! It's new, and I don't know how it will work. Also, I wasn't going to tell you, because it's a secret!" Odie yelled, following me.

I snorted, "Please, Odie Wichmore, keep a secret from ME?!" My problems had been forgotten, my loneliness erased by Odie's infectious presence.

I needed more friends. Or a hobby.

"Theresa, that _is_ happy news, but I have bad news too!" He exclaimed. I stopped, dread filling my heart. The last person who told me they had bad news had told me my father had died of a heart attack.

The only person I loved more than my dad was Odie. My mind ran rampant with images of him dying of some strange incurable disease, or cancer, or a _common _cold! Maybe he was dying. He was sick! I felt blood drain from my face into my toes.

"Risa, come on. Calm down, I know you are panicking, it's not that bad." He assured me, grasping my limp and clammy hand.

"Odie?" My voice was small, and scared. "Are you dying?"

He burst into laughter, and tried to smother it with his shirt. "No! No!" He said, "I'm completely fine."

I ripped my hand away, insulted by his amusement at my expense. "Well then what's the bad news?"

He sobered very quickly, and I knew that even though he downplayed it, this news would hurt me.

"I am moving."

"Where?" My voice was still cold. Too cold to talk to my own best friend.

"Europe." He stated.

The room froze, my blood froze, and every breath I attempted to take in just… stopped. Odie was leaving to go halfway across the world! He was leaving me! I would have no one left, just Grandmamma. And I refused to go crawling back to _her_.

"Europe?" Still frosty, but it wavered. I hated that he could probably sense the tears that were already running down my face. Why did I have to love that boy so damned much!?

"Yes. We are expanding my store to Europe." His voice was soft, as if he knew my cruelty was just a show.

"Oh Odie!" My voice cracked, and suddenly he was there, hugging me just like when we were children at my father's funeral. I clung to him, but I knew I couldn't make him stay with me. It wasn't fair. How could he leave me when we were supposed to be together _forever! _

I could make him stay of course, I knew how Odie worked, and he would do anything for me. It was a two way street of course, because the boy I hung off of was my very best friend, my family and the only person who I would follow to the end of the world. I had but to ask him to stay for me, and he would.

Money meant nothing to Odie Wichmore, but friends meant everything. Odie loved to adventure, to have a challenge however, and I just knew I couldn't take this away from him.

"I'll miss you." I choked out. Odie squeezed me, and pulled away, lifting his hand to wipe away my salty tears.

"I will miss you too Risa." Odie smiled, "But of course you will come visit me all the time. And I will come visit you too!"

I had forgotten the ease of which one could travel nowadays. It wasn't the end of the world. I had over reacted, and I felt bad enough for putting him through it.

"Sorry I cried. I will come visit!" I promised. Odie laughed and kissed my cheek gently. I briefly wondered why Odie never got lucky with women. He was absolutely everything a woman would ever want in a man. Smart, rich, tender, gentle, loving and understanding.

Perhaps this new girl he spoke of would realize this sooner than I had. My chance with Odie had slipped away long ago, and I didn't completely regret it. Odie and I were best friends, and I don't know if I would have wanted to be more.

"I know you will." He laughed, "Okay, let's eat love. You look way too skinny."

His poke in the ribs made me giggle, and I knew that this was not the end of the world, just another obstacle. Odie had a new challenge!

Either way, I had my own mystery to solve, and no matter what happened, Odie would still always be there for me. Even if Europe was way far from Canada, it wasn't the end of the world. He was healthy, I was alive, and we would _always_ be best friends.

_// I'm So Tired Of The Games We Play, And The Disasters That Befall Us //_

The hospital was still white. Some days, I just wanted to walk in with a bubble gum pink and Halloween orange paint and toss it all over the walls, just to see if they truly did clash. But then I would probably be sent to live with my beloved patients for the rest of my life.

The rest of my life… with Jay? I pondered. Lately, as Odie packed and I sat alone in front of my TV with a bowl of chips, I had decided it was okay to fantasize about Jay. Nothing could come of it, and denying myself wasn't healthy.

As it was, now that I did dream about him, I craved a _**lot**_ more strawberries, whip cream and candles. I'm not completely sure why.

Actually, that was a lie. I was so totally sure why. Jay was hot! And that was all there was to it.

"I am here to start pre-study with Jason Cameron. His TOUCH sessions should be booked for the end of this month, after I have had time to learn about him and record his preferences." I told Nancy, who coordinated all of the therapy sessions in the ward.

"Sure Dr. Davis. He is in his room, 230B." She told me, her eyes haunted as she watched me.

I smiled at her, wondering if she would ever stop looking at me as if I was a frail kite, ready to blow away and disappear forever when the wind picked up. She nodded, and handed me a clip board. I headed towards the room, nerves on fire and stomach so shaky I could breathe. What had I eaten for dinner?

Oh hell! Had I eaten dinner?

Shaking my head at my own stupidity, I walked without glancing back into Jay's room, unsure what would be waiting for me. Would he be pleased or angry!? Did he like me even a little bit, or was I just a doctor to him?

He wasn't just a patient to me. I could feel it in my bones. Just like last time…

'_Oh Gods. Please don't end this like last time; I don't think I could handle it. Atlanta didn't deserve that.' _My silent prayer, a mantra of hope. I couldn't handle another failure, and I never wanted to brand cruel images and thoughts onto my own brain again.

Jay was sitting in the chair, relaxed, and looking more like a god than anyone had a right too. His ankle was shackled down, but his arms were free, and I had a brief fantasy of him wrapping them around me. A blinking camera in the corner told me it was ridiculous to imagine, but I didn't hold back.

"Theresa?" He asked, gently and tenderly. He said my name with such sweetness that I couldn't help the wonderment and desire that ripped through me. To wake every morning with that voice to greet you, it would be heaven. I steeled myself.

"Mr. Cameron. I am here to ask a few questions, and to explain how the TOUCH works." I said in my most formal tone.

Jay flinched slightly, and frowned, "If you want."

I sat down across the table, my hands folded under my breasts. I had dressed in my prettiest clothes today, excited for this meeting. Although, you wouldn't ever be able to tell, because the white coat obscured all my clothes, and just made me plain.

I had always been so plain! I couldn't even get a normal boring guy to like me, let alone someone like Jay to show interest.

"Okay, well, I am Theresa Davis, as you know. I am the leading doctor in the world when it comes to our TOUCH program. TOUCH was developed by a man named Odie Wichmore." Pain struck my heart at the thought of Odie.

"Are you okay, Theresa?" Jay's voice held nothing but concern.

"Yes, of course." I muttered, "TOUCH stands for Therapeutic Observation/Utilization of Cerebral Healing."

Jay snickered, "Okay, I get it. It's some sort of therapy to cure me of my insanity."

I blinked. That was blunt. "Well, I don't personally believe you are insane per say."

Jay laughed and smiled at me, full of happiness and love, "Why thank you Theresa. I am not insane, as you may find out. I don't know if you will believe me or not, but I am going to try and convince you that you are wrong."

It came on quickly, the slight laugh at his conviction. I covered my mouth, and I knew that he could take offence if he believed I was mocking him.

Instead, Jay grinned, a little boy's grin. The first sign of youth and care free joy I had seen. "I like your laugh. You should laugh much more often Terry."

The nickname came so freely from his mouth that I didn't have the heart to stop him. Familiarity was never good with a patient, but somehow, when Jay did it I couldn't object.

"Thank you Mr. Cameron." I could keep businesslike at least. "Now, the way the TOUCH works, is I am put in a coma-like state."

Jay's eyes narrowed, "Is this dangerous for you?"

I winced. This was the first time a patient had been concerned for my safety, and while it touched me, it also worried me. "It can't physically, no. But mentally, if I 'died' in your mind, I would probably be traumatized. However, I would still be able to come back. And get therapy." I teased.

Jay was still frowning, but he laughed at my joke. "Well, only if there is a doctor who knows the way a mind works like you do on staff."

I laughed, "I may be the leading doctor with the TOUCH, but I am still young yet. Now, I will be in this coma state, and we will both be put under. Then they will project me into your mind, so that I can talk to you and learn how your brain works from the inside. Basically, it's a dream monitoring machine in reverse. Instead of projecting your dreams onto a screen, we project an image into your mind."

Jay nodded, as if he could actually understand all this psycho babble I was spitting out at him. "Okay, so basically an image of you is sent into my brain through my Occipital Lobe, where I would imagine I am seeing you?"

I gaped at his understanding, "Did you study neurology?"

His laugh sounded forced to my ears, and his fist clenched, "No, a… a friend of mine… taught me. She knew all of this stuff."

A flare of jealousy spiked through me. A helluva lot more than a friend in my opinion. I calmed myself and kept nodding.

"That's good. So you are correct so far. Then we study how you would interact and react with me, and I basically move to your cerebellum, where you may place us in whatever situation or memory you deem appropriate. We will talk there, and I will study our conversation, interaction and how your brain works. Also the landscape you place us in is very important."

Jay cocked his head, "Now, it's just you in my head right?"

I nodded earnestly, "Of course, I am the only one who is qualified to use the TOUCH. And no one can really record what goes on in there, I have to remember it for when they bring me back out of the coma."

"Good. I don't want anyone else running around my head and especially my memories."

I frowned; he didn't seem very welcome of anyone in his head. Why did he sign away this privacy right for me almost without asking?

"You remind me." He swallowed heavily, and my attention was brought back to him, "You remind me of my friend. That I spoke of before."

The jealousy petered out to be replaced by a deep fear of Jay never seeing me, only the _friend_ he kept talking about. It didn't matter either way; I could never be with him after I treated him. It wouldn't be appropriate for my career, and I needed the money I made for myself and Grandmamma.

"Really?" My voice was breathless, like I had just been punched in the stomach.

"Yeah, she was a sweet girl. You look like her too, but she never really liked wearing white."

'_Funny you should say that Jay, I despise white. Maybe me and your stupid little girlfriend would get along.´ _The thought was bitter and I wished I could erase it as soon as I thought it.

"I am not really a fan of white either; I just have to wear it." I told him. It felt like something illegal, sharing this fact with him. I just wanted to tell him all my secrets.

"Terry, you look like you committed a sin. Chill, I'm not going to tell anyone you hate your uniform." Jay chuckled, and the sound sent shivers down my spine.

"I am trying to be professional." I choked out. He looked insulted. The look faded, and suddenly I was staring straight into the face of dangerous Jay, the Jay who had told me to get out. I was scared of this Jay, and I knew I would listen to whatever he said.

"That's why, you know." He whispered, "That's why I am letting you in my head. You've already been there Terry, a while ago. Don't tell me you don't remember?"

His voice was kind and curious, but something about him was making my blood run cold, along with his words. "I'm sorry Mr. Cameron but-"

"Stop calling me that!" He snapped. "My name is Jay. Say it. Jay."

I reeled back on my chair, realizing we had both been unconsciously been leaning towards each other. Why was he being so cruel? Why did calling him by his respectful last name bother him?

"I'm sorry Jay. I still have some questions for you, but we will have to continue tomorrow. I have to go meet a friend."

He looked appeased when I called him Jay, but when I told him I was meeting a friend, he frowned, "Is it that Odie Wichmore?"

How had he known!? "Yes, we are good friends."

Jay smiled, and suddenly, the boyish grin was back. He looked seventeen, and wild and beautiful. I had a strange urge to picture him sailing a boat, pointing out landmarks and fish to me.

"Say hi to little Odie." He requested, turning away from me, and towards the two way mirror. His brow furrowed again and he stood. I stood as well and went to leave. The nurses waiting outside would unshackle him and take him back to his room.

Clanking was heard behind me, and I turned to see Jay sitting down again, the chain sitting in his lap. He wasn't chained down at all, and he gave me a sweet smile.

"Sorry Terry, you can't keep me locked up for long."

I slammed the door, unbelievable fear and desire ripping through me. How had he managed that!? The man was a menace, as he had proved with whatever type of crime he had committed. Tomorrow I would hear his version of the story, and I hated that I believed him already.

Despite his talents at escaping, and being scary, and sometimes sounding dangerous, I just had this weird feeling…

Like he would never hurt me. No matter what happened.

_// You See These Shackles Baby, I'm Your Slave //_


	3. Chapter 3

_Part 1: Reality_

A/N: Alright, so forgot to mention I am in Mexico right now! Holiday time xD Anyway, sorry about my slower updates for the next week – two weeks. But they will come during that time, cause I do have internet access, just not the time. Okay, enjoy this chapter; it answers a lot of questions.

Disclaimer: I do own some pretty sweet tan lines and burn rashes, but not CotT.

_// I Chose To Feel It, And You Couldn't Choose //_

It was Sunday; usually my favourite day of the week because it was a weekend and my only day off. Sundays were freedom for me, a time to relax, see a movie, spend my entire day with Odie on his couch have fun. It was the only day of the week when I didn't have to be Dr. Davis; a woman with responsibilities and patients and no social life. The one day when I could be me, Theresa, a woman, a friend and absolutely, completely and totally… alone.

The pity party had started in the morning, when I had awoken from a night full of glorious dreams of Jay and I on a tropical island with bare sun kissed skin. Instead of my tropical cabana, I was in my own house, with a pale complexion and a forecast for cloudy weather.

The worst part? There was no one in my bed beside me when I woke up. The silhouette of Jay had disappeared and no longer could I roll over to find his depthless brown eyes staring at me.

So, instead of a relaxing Sunday, I wanted to go into work and see my entirely off limits patient. However, I couldn't just go in, as this was not just any Sunday. It was the day Odie got on his plane and didn't come back.

Okay, so I was being a little dramatic, but my best friend –my _only_ friend- was moving to Europe and I was stuck in Canada! He had sold a lot of furniture, and the vital stuff had been shipped over. The plane that was stealing him from me was supposed to leave five minutes ago.

The phone rang as I munched my omelette. I had been making a conscious effort to remember meals since Odie had been teasing me mercilessly about my ribs sticking out, and how extremely unattractive that was. I told myself I just wanted him to shut up, but really, I knew I was eating so I would look better for Jay.

Recently, Jay had asked if I was sick, and concern had been written all over his face. I had been moved by his caring, and assured him I was fine. Questions and answers were all we did lately, considering I was supposed to be monitoring him and how he reacted outside his mind. I was also trying to figure out what he had been doing the night he had been arrested, and if he had killed anyone the police didn't know about.

The required questions were asked, and answered, and yet I yearned for more. I didn't ever want to ask him anything that had to do with psychology. I wanted him to tell me his favourite color, scent, shampoo, music, movie, anything!

"Hello?" I answered the phone, quite distracted by my musings.

"Hey Risa." The voice was identified easily as Odie's, and he was the only one who called me Risa. I used to love the name, but lately I was enjoying the way Jay said Terry as he called to me, like a caress, a whisper of a secret love.

"Odie my love, how goes it?" Alive! Oh gods, I sounded so alive! Why wouldn't I stay this way when I wasn't on the phone? Couldn't my acting be extended so I fooled myself into happiness?

"I am about to get on my plane, and I wanted you to know how much I love you." His voice was so sincere, tears welled in my eyes, "And that no matter how far away I get, you'll always be my best friend. If you need me, call and I will be there as fast as the plane moves."

I could barely breathe over the lump in my throat, "I love you too."

It sounded more like a choking parakeet than a declaration of love, but Odie accepted it, just like he had accepted me. I desperately hoped that the woman he was now with would appreciate just how wonderful he was.

For an instant, I wished he would have invented something other than the TOUCH, like a time travel machine. I wished I never met Jason Cameron. I wished I was a child, and Grandmamma was still sane and loved me. I wished my Mama and Dad wouldn't have died. I wished to all the known Gods that I would have had enough courage to tell Odie I loved him years ago.

But the TOUCH was invented, my family was dead and Odie was nothing more than my best friend. More importantly, I had met Jason Cameron.

And no matter what happened after this moment, I knew I couldn't love Odie, because I was irrevocably and permanently in love with Jay.

"Awe, Risa, don't cry. Here, I want you to talk to someone." I heard static on the line, and suddenly unintelligible whispers were heard.

The line cleared, and the most beautiful and clear voice I had ever heard entered my ear. It sounded angelic, and I felt as though I could fly, I could dream, I could love just because I had heard it.

"Hello?" It was shy. That was my first thought.

"Hi?"

"My name is Mellian. I'm Odie's… err… girlfriend." It was grateful. My second thought. She sounded so shocked, so sincere and in love that immediately, I loved her.

"Congratulations Mellian. You have found a keeper. Never let that one get away, he is the greatest man I have ever known." My voice was steady, but it could never compare to hers. A single word could bring people to tears.

"I know." Mellian was so proud; I almost felt my heart burst in happiness. "I think so too."

"It was nice talking to you." I couldn't have kept talking if I'd wanted to. My throat was so clogged with tears, words were beyond me. But Mellian wasn't completely done with me.

"Theresa. Odie misses you and he feels horrible about leaving. I know that you care about him, and I want you to know, I will take the best care of him that I can." She paused, and‎ her voice went so quiet, I strained to hear her. "He's wonderful, and good, and all that is light in this world. I love him."

I believe that Mellian honestly meant this in comfort. She meant for me to be happy for him, for me to like her. It worked, and these words comforted me, and pleased me. I really wanted to meet this woman who sounded so beautiful, and wonderful.

I cleared my throat.

"I'm pleased to hear that. Now you take care of him, don't let anything happen to him."

Her next words touched me, and haunted me and made me wish for so many things for myself.

"Anything that would want to hurt him would have to kill me first."

She didn't give me time to answer, because suddenly Odie was back on the line, and I was half crying and I knew in my heart that he was about to leave.

"Hey Risa, she's wonderful hey?" He didn't wait for my response, "Don't worry, life is going to be amazing from here on in. You'll survive. Tell that Jay boy to look after you!"

The mention of Jay's name reminded me of other things in my life, other things that I could concentrate on, instead of Odie's absence. I smiled, genuinely, and for the first time I knew I could say goodbye to him without breaking down.

"I love you Risa. I have to get on my plane now! See you before you know it!"

"Love you too! Stay safe and have a good flight."

I wasn't sure if he heard my reply before he hung up.

My cereal was soggy, and I knew that I wasn't going to get anything done today. I decided I would go in and question Jay. Tomorrow was the big day, and yet I knew that Jay had yet to tell me anything useful. Police had been badgering me forever now, and I just kept ignoring them.

I slipped on a purple shirt, but the color made me look emaciated and reminded me of Archie. I ripped the shirt off my body and tossed it into the corner, telling myself to burn it later. The thought of Archie Jeremy Killes never sat well with me.

Instead of my usual pastel colors, I put on the most daring outfit I had. Atlanta had bought it for me for Christmas, and unlike most of the other things she bought me, this one I absolutely _loved_.

A sleeveless grey top with a slight v neck hugged my curves, the one part of me that didn't look anorexic. The stomach was ribbed and sometimes it rode up to expose a piece of my torso. Atlanta surprised me every so often, because despite her bravery in outfits and men and life, she hated high heeled shoes. In fact, she hated dresses at all. My shoes were black and strappy, with a small heel that even I could walk in. The heel itself was silver, and shone whenever I walked. My favourite part of the outfit however, was the silk skirt. It was knee length, with a daring slit on the side that went higher than I would have desired on the side of my thigh. It held a black flowered design on the bottom, and it was crimson red. A racy red.

I slipped into this outfit, even the shoes. I let my hair down, curled it and placed the barest amount of makeup on. The mirror showed me a woman I didn't recognize. She was beautiful, brave and intelligent. She had long lustrous hair, and large expressive green eyes. Perhaps she was too pale, a little too thin and she had a bad habit of chewing her lip.

But she was the person I wanted to be today. I brushed my teeth furiously and applied red lipstick I had never worn before. I felt courageous, amazing, lethal and sexy!

Instead of that stupid lab coat, I was wearing this. It was my day off, my day to wear what I want and be me.

Even if the exterior seemed false, I wanted this to be me. This was a woman Jay would love, Jay would treasure.

I locked my house and got into the one car I never used. Usually I drove around a plain navy jeep. A car I loved, but something that screamed… Risa. Today, I got into the car my parents life insurance had bought for me. When they had died I had paid my way through school and bought the car I had dreamed of since a little girl. With the money I had left, I had placed payments in two houses. My Grandmamma's house and my own. Recently, with my own income, I had finished paying off her mortgage. In only a year, I would own my own house as well.

But the car I was now sitting in was my absolute pride and joy. It was a corvette, and as red as my skirt. The top was down, and the interior was leather and black. It was probably the one thing in my entire life I hadn't thought through, and the one thing I didn't regret.

I could have bought just a simple car, and paid off my mortgage in one hit. But this car was the only thing in my life that I had dreamed about and gone after. My parents had bought me this car in a sick, morbid sense, and I would die before I would ever think of giving it up.

It was beautiful and brave and wonderful, and I knew in my heart that it was meant for a woman who wore daring clothes, who loved insane men and who weren't afraid of their dreams. A car that a woman named Terry would drive.

On the way to the hospital, I'm almost positive I picked up two speeding tickets. Usually, I was a careful driver, and stayed within the speed limits. But something about this care made me want to go _fast._

Atlanta would have been proud.

_// You Fall Away From Your Past, But It's Following You //_

The white walls shocked me, and I felt like suddenly, everyone was staring at me, as if to say I was foolish for doing this, and should go back to my lonely house in sweats. I was halfway in the room where the lab coats were held, preparing to cover myself and immerse my new identity back into Risa mode.

I ran into Nancy on my way there, but instead of looking at me like I was a wounded kitten, she stared, open-mouthed.

"Theresa!?" She had never called me by my name at work before. I wasn't sure whether to yell to the world that this was the new me, or lie and tell her I didn't know Theresa and cower at home. She didn't give me the chance to decide to be brave. "Oh Theresa, you look amazing! I love the skirt! Why are you here on your day off?"

I coughed, shocked. She hadn't spoken to me like this since… Archie. It hurt to speak the name of my failed patient. It hurt to think of how close we were. How much I hated him for so many things. How much I missed him even when I wasn't supposed to.

"I just wanted to stop by and ask Jason a few more questions. Then I am going… out?" I raised my voice as if it was a question. As if I had a reason other than Jay to wear these clothes, to look like this.

Nancy smiled, and for an instant I wondered how bad I had looked recently, for just these clothes to make her think I was healed. I wondered just how much I had worried her, if she could still smile like we were best friends.

"That's great. Have fun!" She said, the amazing smile still stretching across her face. She hugged me, tighter than I would have expected. Instead of explaining herself, she blushed, a trait I had loved about her, and raced past me.

I headed toward Jay's room, confidence restored. I would only stop in for a moment, ask him firmly just what had happened the night he had been arrested, and tell him I was so unbelievably in love with him.

Maybe I wouldn't go that far. But I would think it so hard, that perhaps he could hear it. The camera in the corner wouldn't catch it, and we could share this secret in silence.

I closed the door behind me, glad that for once, we didn't have a two way mirror as well as a camera. Still, the red flashing light taunted me, and all I desired was to turn it off and show Jay just what I was wearing under this outfit.

I blushed deeply at the thought, remembering that today I had put one more of Atlanta's presents to use, and it was just as red as my skirt. Atlanta was fond of red.

Turning around, I saw Jay staring at me, mouth agape. My cheeks must have been glowing crimson, something the camera wouldn't miss.

"Terry… you look…" He swallowed, as I waited for his decision. "Unbelievable."

I smiled; what I really wanted to do was jump for joy and giggle like a schoolgirl. I thanked him; the only thing I could give him while being professional. I didn't want to just thank him, I wanted to tell him that he looked amazing, even if he was wearing the white coat and blue pants of a psych ward patient.

His gaze darkened. "Are you going somewhere tonight?"

I seriously debated telling him I was, on a hot date with a god-like man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. However, the jealousy that was obvious in his beautiful eyes made me unable to hurt him.

"To be honest… no." I laughed, "I just felt like dressing up."

His smile turned mischievous, "Lie! Can't lie to me Terry, I know you way too well. You wore this for me?"

The camera blinked, warning me of the danger of answering that question. I evaded it.

"You hardly know me." My voice was brusque, and I knew that it didn't offend Jay, because his eyes were alight with happiness and laughter.

"I know you better than you think." Was his murmured response. I was now used to these cryptic comments from him, they barely phased me. They did however keep me up late pondering what he meant by them.

"Okay, so I have more questions."

He smirked, "As always."

"What were you doing the day you were arrested? In the school?" I asked, almost proud of how professional I could be.

He narrowed his gaze, and for a moment I thought he was angry. But his voice wavered, as if he teetered on the edge of despair. "I was fighting a war. I lost a lot of people in that battle. A lot of people I loved."

I didn't understand, and I didn't pretend to. "What war?"

He didn't answer for the longest time, and I stared at him, sitting in his chair. He wasn't locked up anymore, because I had told the staff he wouldn't be dangerous towards me. When I was sure he wouldn't answer, I stood up, brushing off my daring skirt.

"We will talk again tomorrow Mr. Cameron if you don't want to answer me now. Good night." My voice was frosty.

As I reached the door, he called to me, "Wait, Terry. I do want to answer you. I…" It was plain that the words were sticking. He did not want to say anymore to me.

"Yes Mr. Cameron?" I asked, my voice soft and gentle. I sat down by him again.

His hand snaked across the table, and I eyed it. It stretched towards me, a noose for my execution, and a glass of water as I thirsted. I glanced once towards the blinking camera, the proof, the judge, the danger.

Damning the consequences, I took his hand. It was warm, calloused and huge compared to my tiny white hand. He gently squeezed my hand, working up to something.

"I want to tell you everything, from the beginning. I want to show you who I am, and what I do, and why I'm not crazy. I want to do all this because… I _do_ know you. I met you a long time ago, in a different place than this. And…" He stopped, and I nearly fell to the ground, waiting for him to finish because despite the insanity of his statements, it felt right somehow.

He looked straight into my eyes, the brown hitting green. "I loved you then. And I love you now."

I blinked. I pulled my hand away. I started a sentence I would never finish.

Everything went black, and I think I screamed. Something covered my mouth, and all I knew was that I was warm, tingling, on fire.

Oh Gods, I was _burning_.

Jay's lips moved against mine as if they were starving, and only I had the capability of nurturing them. His tongue flicked along my lip, inciting fire to dance along my mouth. I grasped at him, my lifeline in this inferno. All the while, everything was dark, everything was black.

I didn't understand, and yet, I kept kissing him, the one man I couldn't have. My patient!

"Terry… I love you." He kissed me again. My nose, my cheeks, my forehead, my neck, my chest. Don't stop.

"I love you."

And still, in the blackout, in the darkness of my interrogation room, where the camera was blinded, I kissed him back.

_// Live Through This, And You Won't Look Back //_


	4. Chapter 4

_Part 1: Reality_

A/N: I am just on an updating frenzy! Guess what else MAY (I repeat… MAY) be up soon… Memoirs of the Macabre! I know, what is going on?! Now, feel pity for your poor Anya, as she is very sick with the flu. Don't catch it. It's evil. Review please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Cott.

_// Bid My Blood To Run Before I Come Undone, Save Me From The Nothing I've Become //_

Before I knew it, he was gone. I didn't get to reply and I didn't get to taste his lips once more for good measure. The burning stopped; the touching ended. All life as I knew it ended, because never before in my entire life had I _ever_ been kissed like that. I opened my eyes to find nothing; it was still dark in the room. I flung one arm out to see where he was, and another to rise to my swollen lips.

"Jay?" I whispered into the dark. No one answered, and for one surreal moment, I thought I was dead. But then the door was flung open, and three doctors I knew were standing there with flashlights. I couldn't remember their names.

"Dr. Davis?" One of them asked, even though he must have recognized me. I nodded and glanced back to where Jay sat. He was sitting, immobile and not even blinking.

"Are you okay Doctor?" The familiar doctor called. Standard procedure.

"Yes thank you. Why aren't the backup generators working?" I answered, my eyes still locked on Jay. He hadn't looked at me yet. Did regret tinge his thoughts, as it should mine? It was wrong, but I didn't regret it. I wanted it again, and again and again. Forever, until the end of time.

"We aren't sure Doctor. The power lines were cut for this neighbourhood and the generators seem to be… melted?" The doctor's voice seemed to ask me. As if I knew why a generator in the basement would melt!?

But finally Jay's eyes narrowed and he looked towards me. He didn't look at me, he didn't even seem to see me or the room or even the doctor's at the door way. His beautiful eyes were far, far away, in a different time and a different place.

Perhaps the stress of the blackout had been too much for him. I surely wasn't a good enough kisser that he would enter his own fantasy realm.

Although, he had spoke of another woman, one that I reminded him of. Perhaps kissing me was an act of defiance, an act of remembering _her_, not tasting me.

It was a foolish thought. Even now I could feel his hands on me, his lips on mine and the passionate way he had whispered 'I love you' to me, over and over.

"Cronus." I snapped to attention, my muscles rigid with just the sound of his voice. And the _name_ he had whispered… why did it feel as if icy claws ripped down my spine?

Why would he ever mutter the God of Time's name when Cronus was dead?

And even as this thought entered my head, I wondered how I even knew who Cronus was, and why I would ever believe him to be dead. After all, I knew next to nothing about Greek Mythology, I was a psychiatric doctor!

"Dr. Davis, we are locating all patients to the main room, where we have flashlights and a solar powered lamp. Bring him and follow please." I nodded decisively, wondering why no one was commenting on what I thought was an obvious blush. Had no one really heard my heart thumping, or felt the heat in my body, or seen my lips so puffy from kissing?

Jay stood without comment and walked towards me, looping his arm into mine. I didn't bother to object, and while the doctor's looked at me strangely, they didn't comment. They led me down a familiar hallway, which looked shockingly spooky when it wasn't lit up.

"Dr. Davis," Jay's voice made me jump in shock. "I would like to start the TOUCH treatments as soon as we have electricity again. I need to get out of this hospital."

"Mr. Cameron, that all depends on whether you cooperate when I am in your head. If I deem you safe, you may be released back into society. Although, you still need to tell us what happened the night you were arrested. If you are found guilty of your transgressions, the Justice System gets you."

He glared at me, and I missed a step as I saw his face looking so unfamiliar. Jay was angry, and tense and scared. I could see it in his expressive eyes. Where had the dashing and dangerous man I knew gone? This man looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"I want the TOUCH treatments. Now. And I will show you what happened at the School."

The way he demanded this made my hair stand on end and my blood chill. He was in charge, I knew it, and he knew it. In the end, I would give him what he wanted. I would follow him to the ends of the earth, or to the recesses of his darkest thoughts.

I glanced around, as if the doctors leading the way would stop me from making this foolish mistake. However, if they heard Jay's demand or our argument, they made no indication that they would intrude. I was lost.

"Okay Mr. Cameron. But I can pull out of your mind as soon as I want; I have a trigger with me. So don't try and scare me, remember, if you want any chance at a life, you must cooperate."

I'm not sure if I said these words as a threat, or a warning because as much as Jay scared me… I _wanted_ him to have a life. Even if my words offended him or hurt him, he didn't show it. He laughed.

"I have no chance at a life anyway."

I didn't deem this new mystery comment worthy of my reply, but his previously spoken words came to my mind: _"I was fighting a war. I lost a lot of people in that battle. A lot of people I loved."_

Who had he lost that had made him so cynical and bitter? Would he answer my questions when I was finally in his head?

The doctors stopped and showed me the common room filled with patients. Solar lights from the lawn were sitting on the floor, and flashlights came from every direction. The only patients missing were the high security ones, like Jay beside me.

"I'm sorry," I finally remembered his name, "Dr. Levisohn, but Jason here is a high security patient, I have to have him in a secured room."

Dr. Levisohn eyed Jay's arm connected to mine, and his lack of security at the moment. Obviously I looked too frail to handle him if he broke away. But I knew what the stupid ignorant doctor didn't, and I nothing if not an accomplished fighter. I could kill Jay with one twist of my arm.

"I didn't realize Dr. Davis. High securities are in that room over there." He pointed vaguely to the left. I followed his poor directions to see a single locked door.

Nodding at the imbecilic doctor, I tugged Jay towards the room. When I opened the door with my I.D card, I found it full of small cells. I had never been in this room before, which was surprising since I lived, breathed and drank this hospital.

I guided Jay to a cell. He looked furious and I was grateful he wasn't yelling or screaming at me.

"A cell? Is this nothing more than a prison Terry?" I swallowed; his anger was giving way to despair and absolute animalistic fear.

"Sorry Jay," My voice was quiet, "But this is all we have right now."

He backed away, untangling his arm from mine and staring hard at the cell. I prepared to shout for back up.

"Don't you _dare_ call for more people to force me in there." He snapped so harshly I stepped back, into the cell he was supposed to be in. He stepped forwards, so he was forcing me father into the cell. Jay didn't come within an inch of entering the cell's doorway, but he didn't need to. His anger was palpable, and I hoped that it was not just me who had caused it.

"Jay, I'm sorry, but you have to come in here." I informed him. My voice was shaking.

He stepped back as if I had slapped him and started trembling uncontrollably. I felt as if I had betrayed him, but I had done nothing wrong. He slumped to the floor, and for the first time I realized there were only a lamp outside of each cell and one guard waving a flashlight at the end of the corridor.

I walked slowly towards him, and bent down, conscious of our close proximity and my short red skirt. I reached one hand out and set it on his shoulder, which was shuddering so badly I feared he was having a stroke.

"Jay?" I whispered. The guard had started our way, probably noticing our shadows for the first time.

He looked up at me, and I recalled the first time I had seen his eyes. I had thought them to be the most beautiful and amazing eyes in this universe, making me feel as if I could fly. Jay's eyes alone made me quiver in delight, and one glance by them felt like a sublime kiss.

But these eyes he stared at me with now were nothing like those. They were dark, dead brown, and I feared his soul had been extinguished. Betrayal, passion and pain floated in them, specks of despair caught in a sea of tears. I wondered what I had done to cause this type of hate and loss in one person.

"Terry," His voice was so small I felt he had shrunk to a little boy. "Don't you remember?"

The guard was beside me, kneeling down to grasp Jay's shoulder. Jay spun, rage darkening his entire face. He stood and moved to slam into the guard. I knew that if I did not stop him, the guard would die and Jay would never, _ever_ be mine.

It was a selfish reason to save someone's life, but it was why I did it.

I flung myself at Jay, knocking him onto the ground. The guard started yelling at someone, maybe me? I scrambled to move off Jay, to get away, to make sure he was alright.

The hallway lit up, blinding me for a moment. I realized with a burst of joy that the power was on, and Jay didn't have to go in the cell, and we could start the TOUCH sessions. Soon he could be healed, and maybe be allowed to enter the world again.

Soon, so very soon, he could be mine! Without regret or worries or pain or interference!

I will never know why the bright electric lights gave me this hope, but it did, and all I desired was to tell Jay about this, about our future together. I also needed to tell him that I loved him too, and that he needed to get well so I could love him forever.

I knew now that I would love him forever, even if he didn't get well.

My eyes finally adjusted and I saw the guard still screaming and running. His flashlight was rolling around on the ground, the lens smashed. I reached my hand forward to stop the pendulum movements, to hold it still and fix everything that had been broken.

But my hands never made the full trip because I looked to my left, where Jay was still laying on the ground, silent. His eyes were shut and he looked like a young boy once more, full of innocence and beauty. Love swirled in my heart, but I just wanted him to look at me, to let me apologize for knocking him into the ground.

Finally I saw the blood that was staining the floor beneath his head, and how it was all over my pale hands. It was soaking me, and I couldn't understand who could have created this type of carnage.

"Jay!" I felt myself scream as I launched myself at him. He didn't move, didn't even blink. My hands ran over him, but instead of a tingling heat, I felt nothing. Blood was over his face, and finally I realized that I had not knocked him into the ground, I had knocked him into the cell walls, and something was terribly wrong with the back of his head.

Tears flowed down my face, dripping onto my thin arms and his hospital shirt. I knew that the glass from the flashlight lens was slicing open my legs and probably hurting Jay as well.

But even as all of these things happened, as I cried, as I begged and screamed, Jay did not open his eyes.

He did not wake up.

And still, his crimson blood dripped all over me, staining my hands and my hair, but blending perfectly into the skirt that had so impressed him earlier. Red upon red, death upon death and guilt all over me anyway.

_// The Love It Takes To Destroy A Man //_


	5. Part Two: Dreams

_Part 2: Dreams_

A/N: Alright, so I'm glad y'all enjoyed that little twist last chapter! Well, today is a new day and I would only like to advise you to notice the change in chapter names today. Very important my dearies! Now, on with the story.

First, did everyone go vote on the CLASS OF THE TITANS NOMINATIONS? Better do it now!

Tonight, I also posted a new story called … It is extremely intertwined with Delusion, and I suggest you read it at the same time as well.

Disclaimer: I don't own Class of the Titans.

_// And This Time There Isn't Any Coming Back, Because What The Hell Is There To Come Back To Anyway? //_

I was fighting a losing battle, and I knew it. The Doctors I knew didn't want me to perform the TOUCH sessions on Jay, didn't want me to go anywhere near him again. They knew that I was deeply involved, and I knew it was my fault they had realized this. I spent much too long by his bedside these last two days.

I had finally gone home, knowing I was useless there, in the hospital as everyone watched me. I had been able to feel their judgement, their pity.

'The first psychologist to kill her patient by falling on him.'

I was what!? One hundred and fifteen pounds… maybe?

But I hadn't killed him. It just felt that way. He wouldn't wake up. There wasn't even anything wrong with him. He had cut his head and arms on the flashlight glass, but he wasn't harmed enough for him to be sent into a full coma.

Despite this medical evidence, Jay was gone. The doctors thought that the strain on his mind had broken it down, making him just collapse into darkness.

Now, that was almost too much for _my_ mind to take. So I had stopped going to work (seeing as I had nearly killed my only patient) and started sitting at home.

It was the third day since the incident in the hallway. I wondered a lot of things. Mostly about what Jay had mean when he asked if I remembered. I wondered why he had been so very afraid of a cell, of a cage. I knew he could probably have escaped it, he had picked his handcuffs so often in my presence without my noticing, and I was used to it. I wondered why he loved me, or if he loved me, or if he was just a big, stupid liar.

A big, stupid, **handsome** liar.

I also wondered why Odie hadn't called me yet. I understood that he was busy, but surely he wouldn't forget about me? Didn't he love me? Hadn't he told me that we would always be best friends?

I cursed and launched myself off my couch. I was fed up with wondering about the two boys I loved and alternating between loving them and hating them. So instead I sat at my kitchen table and set food out in front of me. I had been remembering to eat lately, a lot. Better than normal! I had gained five pounds already.

The crackers I was eating were stale, and my milk had gone sour, so I dumped it down the sink. But the chips were still good, so I munched those back. I thought about Atlanta, the one person who had never before caused me pain to think about. But now, like everyone else I loved, it was bittersweet.

I thought of her fiery red hair, and confident smile. Her hazel eyes as they laughed with me, loved with me, even cried with me, although Atlanta would never admit it. I thought of her favourite old running shoes matched with her denim short shorts.

And then, because I couldn't just let myself thrive on happy memories and images and love, I thought of _him_. Archie.

Archie Jeremy Killes, the second TOUCH patient.

He had been charismatic, funny, intelligent and undeniably sweet. He had been handsome in a different way than Jay, with eyes so deeply silver they felt like molten quicksilver in your veins.

I had often wondered why Archie was single, what Archie was doing in a mental hospital when it was so obvious that he was just a boy. A boy that was too smart and amazing to spend the rest of his life locked up.

But unlike Jay, Archie was very obviously insane. Dangerous to the extreme, Archie had been much too clever for his own good.

Much like Jay, Archie had a body made for sin, so hard and fit that you wondered if he didn't belong in a different time frame where survival of the strongest applied. His hands were faster than I could think, and he could use a knife like he had been born with it in his hands.

Apparently Archie had been trained to fight from a young age, or so he had told me once. He could pick any lock you presented with him, as he had often proved by showing up in my house on any given night. He could go from a maximum security cell to outside and right back without blinking.

I knew that no police would ever catch Archie. He had been the smartest man I had ever met, and dangerous or not, there was still a little boy in him somewhere. I hoped that Atlanta would get on his good side. He would let her go.

In a way, Archie reminded me of Hannibal Lector. He wasn't evil, he was justified, he was hungry, and he was smart.

I knew, even now, that if Archie showed up on my doorway, I would let him in. I knew that if I ran into him on the street, he would smile and wave at me like a five year old. I knew he would never hurt me.

Archie had been the one person I had ever truly considered to take as a lover. But I had known better than to get involved with a patient at that time. Apparently that intelligence had flown out the window with Jay, but I didn't regret it.

Jay was different from Archie. Archie I could probably spend days in bed with, sleeping and loving and teasing. But Jay?

I could spend my life there.

And there was a difference in Archie's insanity and Jay's as well. Jay was dangerous, but not irrational. He was brave and sad and hurt and now, he would never ever wake up and it was entirely my fault!

I frowned. I could fix this. I knew I could. I had failed with Archie, and he had taken my best friend, but I could fix this. I stood up, racing to my room and showering faster than I have ever done so in my live.

I yanked my long hair back into a rough pony tail and skipped makeup. Yoga pants and a green tank top were thrown on as I raced to the kitchen. I knew what I had to do. I had to convince these doctors.

My T.V was on, and I barely stared at it as I threw the chip bag out and grabbed a yogurt. Calcium was good for me. I remembered _that_ at least from school.

Some doctor I was!

But I was a doctor of the mind, and all I knew of the body was that my grandmamma had once told me that fish was brain food and carrots helped my eyes. Didn't every child's parent tell them that though?

The T.V caught my attention and I stared at it, wondering where the remote was. My heart was in my throat.

Purple hair.

That was all that really registered before I rushed to the screen and turned the volume up manually.

"The main suspect, Archie Jeremy Killes, an escaped mental hospital patient has not yet been found. It is believed that he is involved in the abduction of Atlanta Marie Hesper and we continue to encourage any reports to be sent to Crime stoppers."

I sighed, tears already rushing down my face. It was a shock to see Atlanta on my screen, all attitude and red hair and big hazel eyes. A picture of Archie was beside her, his arrest photo. Even in this most unflattering of situations, Archie was beautiful.

Perhaps that was the difference between Archie and Jay? Jay was rugged, handsome, pained and noble. Archie was beautiful and fallen and bitter. He was pained and jaded and never going back to wherever it was he had come from while Jay seemed only to desire to return.

I wiped my eyes and sighed, wondering why I still sat, hugging the T.V as if my stolen best friend and my loved-yet-hated patient would appear into my living room. They didn't, but I did continue to stare at the screen.

My heart beat slowly.

Then stopped.

My eyes didn't blink.

Why was there a plane on the T.V?

Why was there a plane on the T.V?

I kept repeating this question. Begging them to answer me, but the words weren't making sense, they just kept jumbling, and I kept crying. I just stared as the video clip of a plane crashing into the run way played. It turned, it flipped, it burned, and it hit the trees, the ground.

It was on fire.

It was rolling. It was breaking.

It slowed, it rocked.

But the worst was when it just stopped, smouldering pieces and one large hunk of fuselage on my T.V screen. The worst was when it kept burning, kept breaking and kept melting.

The worst was when no one got out of the wreckage.

I kept telling myself that this was as bad as it could get, and it couldn't get any worse because so many people had just _died._

But it got worse. So much worse, with only a few words from the news anchor woman. Her hair was perfect and it bothered me. I wanted it to look ragged. I wanted her eyes to be puffy. I wanted her to have her ribs sticking out, even though she didn't want them to.

I hated her more than I had ever hated anyone, even Archie, even Jay, even the other Doctors, even my grandmamma. I hated her even more than I hated myself.

She destroyed my entire life. With eleven words.

"-found with a woman believed to be his fiancée although it had yet to be announced. Today we mourn the loss of Odie Wichmore, inventor and scientist."

Today we mourn the loss of Odie Wichmore, inventor and scientist.

The loss of Odie Wichmore.

Not inventor and scientist. No.

My friend, my family, my home, my love, my _everything_.

Today, we mourn the loss of my soul.

_// And This Is It, This Is All, Everything Is Done And Gone Now, But I Still Want You //_

I have never thought so much in my life. I have also never been so thoughtless, so foolish, and as _stupid_ as I was then. After witnessing the plane crash that had obviously taken my best friend's life, and his fiancée's life, I had turned off the T.V.

After turning off the television, I sat on the floor. I sat on the floor for at least three hours. I didn't even cry. Sometimes I thought, sometimes I prayed, sometimes I didn't think and sometimes I just wished.

First, I wished that Odie hadn't gotten on the plane. Then I decided that he should have never invented the TOUCH. I wished that Archie was normal, and Atlanta was here, and Odie was alive. I wished that I had never met Jay, and I wished that I had never moved here. I wished I had never become a psychologist. I wished I had dropped out of high school, married Odie, and let his intelligence carry us through our lives. I wished that Jay was dead, and Odie was alive. I wished that Archie was dead and Jay was alive. I wished that I was making love to Jay.

I wished so much that my parents were alive.

I wished that my grandmamma loved me.

It was this last thought that spurred me into action. If I was to die, or be arrested, or kill myself, or run away, I needed to talk to my grandmamma. So I stood, I washed my face and I grabbed a credit card. I snatched the phone off the cradle and I stared for a long time at the phone book. Deliberating. Promising.

The hotel I called was second-rate and fairly cheap. I rented it for two nights. I wouldn't need the second night. I planned to either be on the run or be dead by then. Preferably the latter.

I called Odie's friend Herry, someone I knew who could lift what I needed to be carried, and wouldn't tell anyone. Someone strong, loyal and willing to do what I needed. Herry didn't even ask what I needed him to do, he just told me he would be ready and waiting. For a moment, intense gratitude filled me.

Then I cut the credit card, called the company, and told them to cancel it and erase all my information. I ran to my freezer and pulled out a pack of smokes and put them in my pocket. I had never smoked a day in my life, but I wanted these now. I reached into the back of the freezer and moved a panel. Pulling out the wad of cash, I started counting.

Enough rent for three months. Or enough to buy a cheap car. Or enough to bribe most hospital guards.

And enough leftover after all these things to purchase a bottle of Jack Daniels and some sleeping pills.

I got in my car. The old one, the one that made me feel like I was surrounded by prison walls. It felt appropriate, considering that what I was planning would land me in jail. Or a mental institute.

I laughed at the irony, and started driving towards Grandmamma's house. It was a place I hadn't been in years, and didn't really care to go to now. As I drove, I felt tears pouring off my face. Tears. Something I thought had dried up and faded long ago, just as my heart had. Just as my mind had.

She was waiting. I saw it as soon as I pulled in the drive. She was on the front porch, despite the unusual chill in the air and rocking slowly back and forth in her chair.

Rage filled me. I hated that chair. Even as a child, all I ever heard was the slow creak and sigh of her from that stupid, stupid chair. Never once did I hear my name being sang or called. Never did I hear how much she loved me!

But as this anger filled me, it drained. Grandmamma only sat in her chair when something had happened, or when she knew something was about to happen. I walked up to her. Her eyes were closed, and I was grateful. I didn't like to stare into her eyes, clouded with age and knowledge. They were too wise, to brave and too much like my own emerald eyes for it to be comfortable.

"Child." She whispered.

Some things would never change, just as she had always called me child; just as she would probably never die, no matter how often I wished it on her. I loved my Grandmamma, but sometimes, I just hated her.

"Child, don't think those things about your Grandmamma. Especially when she is about to help you." Her voice was raspy and amused. Her eyes finally flickered open, and in them, I saw more life than she had had in years.

"Grandmamma." My greeting was cold, despite the desire to cling to the willowy woman and cry until she held me like I was three again.

"I'm not dead yet Child. Now, clinging to me ain't going to help your man is it?"

I smiled, and even though there was no reflection in the doorway for me to work off of, I knew it was a sad smile. Grandmamma never ceased to amaze me with the things she knew, the things she heard. I hated that every science I had fought for, every natural and explainable thing there was that I had learned, was contradicted. I hated that in three seconds of her company, I could doubt everything I knew. I hated that she made me believe in the impossible and in love and in happiness.

"Oh darling, you should believe in those things. They exist. And all of them will exist for you as well." Her voice was clear, and as I stared at her in shock, I could almost see through the frail ancient woman she was straight into the vibrant woman she had been. Her hair had long since greyed from the blonde that had gleamed like spun gold in the light. Her skin was wrinkled, and spotted, but I could sometimes glimpse the pale, smooth satin skin that had been there. Her smile shone through, and her eyes glittered, despite the crow's feet, despite the skin, despite the years of hardship.

"How do you know Grandmamma? How do you always know!?" My voice rose, this time not out of hate, but out of desperation.

"I know Child, because it is my job to know. Do what you plan to do; nothing can get in your way. Go get him."

I frowned, "Even if I manage to pull this off, I have, at best, a night before the cops find me."

Grandmamma stood and walked to me, staring down at me from the top step. I didn't even try to rise to her height, because at the moment, I felt as small as an ant. She didn't look pleased with me, but contrary to her narrowed eyes, her gnarled hand rose to stroke my hair and tear streaked cheek.

"I always told you that you had the gift Child. You have tonight, and tomorrow into the noon."

I leaned into her comfort, missing so much the feel of a tender, caring hand towards me. She stroked my hair for long moments, and I let myself feel loved. Too soon she stopped and dropped her hand to her hips. Instead of letting her speak, I blurted out my very deepest fears.

"I will lose everything if I manage to get away with it today."

Grandmamma looked at me so sadly; I felt my own eyes tear up again. Instead of answering me, she turned her back and started to walk towards her door. She didn't invite me in, and I knew better than to enter without permission. Before I left, her soft voice called me to a halt.

"Theresa." That made my blood run cold. She had never, not once in the years I had lived with her, called me by my name. "I know you don't believe in my power. But I have it. And I know when I am going to die. It's soon."

I shivered, I couldn't stop myself. I told my brain I didn't believe in this mumbo jumbo, but my heart disagreed.

"Grandmamma, do you know when I am going to die?" I asked. I couldn't believe my nerve. The worse part was, if she knew, she would tell me. It was the way she was. I didn't truly want to know.

Or did I?

"Child… you are already dead inside. What does outside matter?"

My very thoughts turned into ice inside me and shattered. It was true. Why did it matter? I didn't even care anyways. I turned to leave.

"Goodbye Grandmamma. I love you." My voice didn't shake, and a fierce pride filled me at that accomplishment. I didn't expect an answer; I had never gotten one as a child. But today, I did.

"Goodbye my darling." She turned and stared at me. Green upon green, soul upon soul. "And about losing everything?"

I jumped slightly as she strode back towards me, eyes never leaving mine. I swallowed hard.

"Yes?"

She leaned down, her lips brushing my ear, warm breath leaking into my hair over my cheek.

"You don't have anything left."

I didn't deem it necessary to respond. I turned; her still stooped off her front porch. Three steps down the sidewalk I was tempted to run back. But she had never been there before, and I knew she wouldn't be there for me now. She had given me a gift however. It wasn't confidence, although that is what I would call it in my brain. It was fearlessness.

It sounded good, but It wasn't. I wasn't afraid anymore, because there was nothing to be afraid of.

Jail? So what.

Freedom? Only the shade of difference between death and prison.

Death? A badly advertised vacation.

I didn't care anymore. And that was what hurt the most. Or at least, I thought that would be what hurt the most. But the softest of whispers, made from the lips of my Grandmamma and carried into my ears wounded me, healed me and killed me all over again.

"I love you Theresa, my darling, my Child."

I clenched my fist. Too late. Too late.

I didn't reply.

_// I Look At You Walk Through The Door, It Never Has Felt Like This Before //_

Herry glanced at me nervously once more. I could tell he didn't like my driving. But he was the kindest man I knew, and he could die before he would ever criticize. I was glad I had thought to call him for help.

"Theresa…" His voice was laced with pain and wonder. I had never heard Herry sound so miserable.

"Yes Herry?"

"I know you asked me to do you one favour, and I don't mind honestly. But you didn't mention that this favour was stealing someone out of the hospital. But I didn't complain did I? Because you're a friend."

"Herry, you barely know me." I objected to him calling me a friend. I didn't want to hurt him by dying.

"Doesn't matter. You were Odie's best friend, and any friend of Odie is a friend of mine." I wondered if Herry felt the same stabbing pain in his heart that I did every time his name was mentioned. How could he just call Odie by his name as if he hadn't _just died_?

"Thank you Herry." I murmured. What could I truly say?

"You're welcome. " He blushed. I nearly smiled at the sight of his kindness and embarrassment. "But, what I really wanted to say is-"

"That stealing an unconscious patient from a mental institute, and a millions of dollars worth of equipment is bad and I shouldn't have done it?"

He frowned, "No. I wasn't really opposed to that. I figure you have a good reason."

I think I was gaping at the huge man. His muscles bulged, and even now I was aware that he could kill me with his fist. But despite his unnaturally strength and behemoth nature, he was the kindest and sweetest man I had ever met.

"I… did. I mean, I do. I do have a good reason." I felt my cheeks flush with shame. I was lying to him. Were love and passion and hate and despair a good reason?

"Well, that's good." He was stalling. "I was just wondering though…"

"What Herry! Just tell me! What were you wondering?" I finally snapped.

He flinched, as if I held a threat to him. "I was wondering why you had Jay in a mental institute. Jay is probably one of the sanest men I have ever known."

I knew now that my jaw was on the floor and my eyes were probably rolling around with them as well. Herry knew Jay! Jay knew Herry!?

"You know JAY!?" My voice was a shriek. IT sounded painful to my own ears, and I felt bad for Herry who immediately covered his. That had probably been the most I had felt since this morning.

"Yeah, we knew each other. Met him a few nights a month for a beer. Good guy. But if you got him started on battles, or wars, watch out. He is seriously bitter. I think he must have been involved in some type of fight when he was younger."

I swallowed. I knew that about him. I didn't think he was actually in a war though, I thought he was… being delusional.

"What was he… like?"

I had never been more grateful for Herry's absolute oblivious nature than I was at that moment. I was blushing, stuttering and glancing in my rear-view mirror to catch perhaps a glimpse of his chocolate hair. Anyone could tell I was desperately in love with a man I had stolen from a hospital room. An unconscious, comatose, insane and severely sick man. A man who _I_ had put into said coma.

"He was great! Always laughing and smiling. He hated fighting, but knew more about it than anyone I have ever seen. One night, a bar fight broke out. Before I could even blink, Jay had both of them on the floor, unconscious but unharmed. He was all for peace, but the boy could fight like he had the devil on his side."

My smile faded at Herry's descriptions. How would it have been for Jay, to hate fighting, but to be forced to for the good of all? I wanted to hear something good. Luckily, Herry obliged me without me asking.

"He loved kids. And anything Greek. He hated football, but hockey was acceptable. Jay oozed responsibility, leadership and honesty. He was proud and obviously intelligent."

"He sounds… so normal." I managed to stutter this out as I parked in the hotel parking lot. Herry smiled and got out of the truck, leaving me alone with my jumbled thoughts and my passionate desires.

Imagine!? To meet Jay in a bar. To see him as normal, as a man, as a date. As a father, a husband, a lover.

I shut the car off and opened my door to head to the reception desk. I got the key to my room and nearly ran to it. Herry was standing outside the door; Jay propped up on the wall, and held by one of Herry's hands. Quickly, the door was unlocked and Herry set Jay on the bed.

I promptly hugged Herry as he went to leave again. He looked flustered.

"Thank you for everything Herry."

"Your welcome. I am just going to get the machine and bring it up here. Then I will head off." He smiled, gently, "I won't tell anyone about this either, don't worry."

When he left, I went to the bathroom and washed my hands. They were sweating, and memories kept running through my head. No one had even questioned us at the hospital. I had my coat and my name tag on. We had rolled Jay to a stairwell, and Herry had then lifted him and walked straight out, holding Jay to look as if he was just helping him out. I had gone back for the machine and carried it out. The TOUCH weighed much more than anyone would have expected.

I had barely gotten to the truck where Herry and Jay were. I had been terrified I would drop it because of the weight.

Herry appeared in my doorway. I saw that he held all of the TOUCH in one big palm. I sighed at the show of extreme strength.

"Just set it beside the bed please Herry." He speedily did so and returned to stand in front of me. He hugged me this time, swiftly and hard.

"Be safe Theresa. Odie loved you more than anything. He wouldn't want this to turn out badly."

I stared up at the ruggedly handsome face, "Should I just run away Herry? I don't know if I want to risk everything I have."

Herry smiled, "Odie wouldn't want this to turn out badly, but he would also encourage you to do everything you could."

I smiled; blindingly bright I'm sure, and whispered, "Thank you. Again."

Herry shrugged and walked to the doorway.

"Theresa?" There was an obvious grin in his voice, "If you love him, he should be worth every and any risk."

He left and closed the door, leaving me alone with my thought. The first was that Herry wasn't as oblivious as he led everyone to believe.

The second thought was much more overpowering and beautiful.

I was alone with Jay.

The bed was soft as I launched myself onto it. Immediately, I did what I had wanted to do since I had seen him from behind the two way mirror. I ran my hand across his cheek, his forehead. I traced his eyes, feeling the tiny eyelashes tickle my palm. I combed back his soft hair, nearly crying from joy. The joys of Jay.

MY thumb touched his lip and sketched it's every contour. Soon, touching wasn't enough, and I was kissing every where my hand had been. His cheeks, his forehead, his eyelids, his nose, his mouth.

Tears dripped onto him, and for a moment I regretted that I was crying on him. But he was unconscious, it did not matter. I stayed like that, staring, crying and touching. Soon, that wasn't enough anymore either. I had a feeling that it would always be like that with Jay. Nothing would ever be enough. Never enough time, enough kisses, enough love.

And all we had was one night.

"It's all okay now Jay. I am going to fix you; I am going to make you better. And then you're never going to leave me again." I whispered as I laid a kiss on his lips. My body curled around his on the bed and I pulled a blanket over us both. One of my hands tucked into his, me feeling his roughened fingers and raw strength around my delicate body.

In the other hand, I held my only line into the waking world, into reality. A small handheld button, similar to a bomb trigger.

I reached across his unconscious form to flick the machine's button to 'on'. The TOUCH whirled to life. One night and one day to make all the difference in the world.

Twenty four hours to bring Jay back to life, to love him, to keep him. One day to show him what I felt for him, this strange, insane but wonderful man.

"Goodnight Jay. I love you." I said strongly. "See you tomorrow."

_// I Should Have Kept You In Chains, But You've Disappeared In The Down Pouring Rain //_


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6: Dreams_

A/N: Well, these next chapters should be very familiarto all of you, just in the memories that play. Also, be sure to check out my story **Desperation** because it is directlyinvolved with Delusion. I seriously suggest reading it at the same time as Delusion, because there are some things that will make sense together. But if you don't, it's not a biggie. You just won't get the full impact.

Now, this chapter is for **Aik Sachcha Ruh **because she left a ton of awesome reviews, and I am so happy that she is enjoying the story. This should answer a ton of questions 

Also, have you guys nominated yet on the Class of the Titans Nominations? GET TO IT PEOPLE.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Class of the Titans. And just as a hint, I didn't even own Theresa's Grandmamma. Any idea who she was people? I changed the eyes but the hair should give a hint.

_// An Ocean Has Pulled You Away And Begging Has Never Made Anyone Stay //_

My very first thought was that I had stepped off the face of the plain hotel room and straight into hell. I could hear the TOUCH whirring, feel the sensors placed on my head and chest. I could also feel the warmth of Jay beside me, the muscles in his arm bunching beneath my head as he slept through this occasion.

But it was not what I heard or felt that made me believe I had gotten myself straight into a nightmare. It was what I _saw_.

Everything around me was icy, cold and brutal. I could see reflections of death painted across every glacier, every frozen pond and waterfall. It was like landing on a different planet, but knowing exactly what planet you were on.

I knew my planet. It was Jay.

I was in Jay's mind.

And it was so _cold_. Where had the warmth gone, the passion? Where was Jay, the sane man Herry had spoken about? Jay should have been meadows and valleys inside his head, not a frozen wasteland.

Even Archie's mind had not been this way. It had been dangerous, sure, but he had been there, and there had still been parts of Archie that were kind. Archie had been virtually harmless, because all he had ever wanted was someone who was kind.

Jay… was just… cold. Every facet of his mind warned me of death and pain and battle. It was true he had seen war. I could see it now, reflecting into my eyes, blinding me and disillusioning me.

I had never been so scared. I glanced wildly around, desperate to see Jay, to find him here to guide me farther into his mind. I needed something I recognized!

I found it. The one thing I would recognize. It had come from my right, and as I turned to see what the flash of green was in this icy blue landscape, I knew it was a memory. It was deep within a frozen lake, but I could see every image on the surface, I could hear Jay's thoughts being whispered to me like ripples of water lapping the shore.

And when the emerald flash came again, I was prepared. I launched myself at the memory, grappling for something to hold onto. It caught me, gently, shocking me with the tenderness. I abruptly realized exactly what this memory was.

The very first time Jay had seen me step into his interrogation and processing room. I could see it all now, remember everything. But the strangest part was, I was remembering everything _as if I was Jay!_

It was ludicrous, everything that Jay had in his mind when I entered that room. He had been wondering about whether he should escape and leave the hospital and join the war again, when he had smelled the sweetest scent.

Flowers and patchouli and absolute peace. It was a scent that Jay recognized briefly, but he couldn't place it. I could feel it, as if the scent was drifting around in his brain, but he couldn't place it.

Suddenly, the memory of Jay's was so, so much more. I wasn't just watching and listening to Jay's thoughts anymore; I was Jay! I could see out of his lazy eyes, hear his thoughts and feel his heart beat in my chest.

When I glanced up, I saw myself. But it wasn't me, because _I _was _Jay_. It was Theresa, the other me. Shock stiffened my spine, and the strangest but most powerful desire to launch myself at the woman –the me? - came over me.

She was _beautiful_. It was my first thought. It couldn't have been me, because I remembered myself. I knew that I was plain. I had lovely hair, lustrous and red, tumbling to my lower back. My eyes were green, but too small in a face that was much too angular. My arms were too long for my body and I was way, _way _too thin.

In high school I had been attractive. I had been healthy, and curvy, with golden skin and bright eyes. But since my parents deaths I had grown sickly thin and pale, with sunken in eyes and skeleton fingers.

Jay did not see me like that at all. What he saw; or what I saw through his eyes; was beauty unrivalled. My hair was pulled into a ponytail, professional, but with wisps trailing along my face, as if it was longing to escape. I was thin, perhaps too thin, but slim curves turned into legs that men could dream about being wrapped around them. My fingers weren't skeletal; they were long, and graceful.

I felt Jay's heart thump, but it wasn't the same type of beating that it had been. It was painful, hurting, as if my thin hands had wounded him some how. I plunged myself into the thoughts he had been having at that moment.

_-Where is her ring?-_

It was panicked, but that was all I could feel in his head. At the moment he had stared at my hands, Jay had been consumed by this thought, this all encompassing worry. It had turned from initial curiosity, to full out pandemonium in his brain.

And then it stopped. I didn't understand why at first, but then I found myself staring into my own green eyes. They weren't sunken. They were vibrant, soul searching and loving.

Jay's every muscle had been tense, as if he was summoning strength from deep within to stay on the opposite side of the table from me. He had wanted to grab me and… what? Hurt me?

I couldn't figure it out. I pored through every thought he had been having, but there was nothing. So I went deeper. I went straight into instinct.

He was taking everything he had and holding himself back from holding me. From stealing me away from this place. HE knew me, he knew me on a level that shocked me. It was as if I had been plucked from another world that Jay had been close to me, and dropped into a Vancouver Hospital Psych Ward.

"Theresa?" It was Jay's voice, coming from… my mouth! I could feel the emotions he had felt as he let that whisper slip out. He hadn't meant to, he didn't want to blow his cover. But everything within him was desperate to keep me safe and take me away from here, back to the world where I had already died.

The shock of that thought threw me right out of the memory, hearing my voice telling him to call me Dr. Davis, and thinking I sounded like an angel fallen from heaven. But instead of continuing hearing Jay's thoughts about how wonderful I was, I was back, on the edge of the cold pool and seeing only warmth and emerald eyes underneath the ice.

I was still frightened. But now something was different about my fear. It wasn't a frantic terror of having Jay be evil anymore. It was because I knew he was wonderful, and warm, and cared about me as much as I cared about him. I remembered the absolute _need_ he had felt rush through him when I entered the room. He was possessive of me, protective and completely in love with me.

I was feeling fear pulse through me, awakened not by my dread of Jay being evil, but of my horror that he was living in this place! His mind was stuck in this perpetual state of brutality. There was nothing warm or loving in this stark place.

As I stared at the dead sparse grass beneath me and the frost permanently on the ground, I realized all at once that I was going to die. I didn't care.

With a glance down at me hand, I saw my out clause. It was the button, the release. The emergency trigger, designed to shut down the TOUCH and yank me straight out of Jay's mind at the same time. If I lost it, I would be stuck in Jay's mind for forever. Most likely. Unless Jay let me out.

And judging by the way he had coveted my every breath in the hospital, I didn't think there was a chance of that. I held the trigger tightly between my fingers. I looked down at my clothes for a pocket only to realize with horror that I was wearing my hospital coat.

It was Jay's mind, and I couldn't wish any clothes on myself. Jay could dress me whichever way he wanted; as long as he knew I was here. But apparently he didn't, because otherwise he would come and greet me. But the hospital jacket seemed as if I was being chained back to the person I had been.

IT seemed like I was trying to become Theresa again, number one in the world with the TOUCH. The woman who was too thin and had no friends. The one who's best friend had been killed in a plane crash. The woman who had put Jay in a coma.

I didn't want to wear this stupid coat anymore. I wanted to be Terry, the woman Jay loved. I wanted my sports car, my red skirt, my flowing hair that Jay thought of as goddess-like.

The only way to remedy this was to find Jay and make him dress me in something more appropriate. It was a determined thought, and the blush that went with it was involuntary. I stood up and slipped the escape trigger into my pocket. I still needed it; I had to get out of here somehow if no one came to find us tomorrow.

I turned around headed for wherever Jay had been hiding when he was comatose, only to find a man I had never seen before staring at me. I hadn't thought it possible that anyone could be more handsome than Jay, but I had been wrong.

My breath caught and then rushed out of my lungs when I saw him. He was beyond handsome, he was _beautiful_. Hair like sunlight ruffled gently in the slightest of breezes. His eyes were piercing and melancholy, an ocean blue, like drowning in the Mediterranean Sea.

I had managed to gasp out, "Who are you!?"

He smiled, and I knew right away that he was sad. I doubted I had ever seen such a sad expression before. He walked towards me and stopped before he was within touching distance. Not that I could touch him even if he was three millimetres away. He was untouchable, a star lighting your very world but thousands of miles away.

"Theresa. You shouldn't stay here, it hurts Jay." His voice was even more mesmerizing than he was. It was silken, and pitched higher than Jay's.

"I don't know what you mean! I just got here. I came to help Jay." My voice was shrill, and I knew he was confused by my words.

"You can't help Jay any more Terry." My mind nearly collapsed. No one called my Terry except for Jay. How did this man in Jay's brain know me! "You hurt him, so badly he couldn't stand it. And now, the whole world is like this. It can't be fixed anymore. Odie has tried and tried but-"

My breath was rasping in and out of my mouth, and suddenly I was grabbing at him, reaching for the star. "Odie? Odie Wichmore! Why is here in Jay's head?"

Connection hit me and I realized that I was holding this wondrous man by his jacket and shaking him. He was solid. When I had been in Archie's mind, nothing had been corporeal. But this was here, like he was a solid fixture in Jay's thoughts.

"Terry. Stop it. You know Odie is here, we are all here." His eyes turned sorrowful, "Well, actually, that's a lie. Archie and you are gone. And Atlanta has been gone for years."

I didn't understand what was happening. I couldn't piece my thoughts together. Jay was not supposed to have knowledge of all these people who were my best friends. Had my mind gotten tangled in his when I sunk in? This was a dangerous process, and I could have severely damaged Jay.

"Take me to Jay, please. I need to help him." I was nearly begging now, and I knew it was ridiculous to plead with a make-believe man.

But instead of dissipating or getting angry, the man looked frustrated –and tired. HE sighed and pulled my hands off his sweater, holding them gently like taming a wild tiger.

"Terry, I don't want to take you to him. He is finally happy, and no one knows _why_ but he is being normal! He doesn't need your spirit coming around again." The tables had turned and he was finally pleading with me, as if I could control him. I couldn't, he wasn't my memory.

"I don't know what you are talking about sir, and I need to see Jay because I want him to get better before the police come for me."

Finally, the man stepped back and dropped my hands as though they were hot coals. His innocent sea-blue eyes were wide but vicious.

"What are you talking about?" He demanded. "Jay is perfectly healthy, at least physically. And the police aren't coming."

I was angry and stepped forward. "Listen, buddy. I don't know who the hell you are, but my name is Theresa Davis and I am Jason Cameron's doctor."

The man frowned angrily, "What do you mean Theresa. You know exactly who I am. My name is Neil Lamonte, and we were engaged. Don't play this game with me. I have dealt with your spirit enough to know what you're up to."

Theresa felt like she had been sucker punched, "Engaged? My spirit!?" She was raging now. But Neil just looked surprised, and pain flickered over his eyes.

"Yeah. Your spirit. You know, cause you're dead."

_//Pour The Acid In My Eyes, Burn The Pictures In My Mind, Take Everything Away From Me, Cause You Don't Exist If I Don't See //_


	7. Chapter 7

_Part 2: Dreams_

A/N: Well, hello to the world! It's been a while since my last update, but I promise you, I am not dead! I have just been busy. Anyway, I don't have much to say about my story, but I do however have a few tidbits to add about recent goings-on. Recently someone (name left out) has been hurtfully bashing authors and it's silly and ridiculous and petty. Attention seeking, but in a horrible way. With other authors help, I am hoping to do my part to re-jollify the CotT community after this incident. 

Class of the Titans is an amazing fandom, and every author on here is incredible in their own rights. I have decided that on each of my new updates I am going to bring the spotlight on another author (or two!) who deserve it. Perhaps they wrote an amazing story, perhaps they did a good deed, and perhaps I just think they are amazing!

So, in total of this long rant, I would like to bring to your attention two people today. They go by the names of **Jason Strong **and **elegos-sirinal-shamtul**. Give thanks to these two, we are SOO lucky to have them!

Now, onto the story. I do not own this, although I do own this plot :)

_// Should Have Known You Could Bring Me Heartache, Almost Lover's Always Do //_

His words branded themselves into my own brain, leaving no room for thought, no room for argument. Neil wasn't being malicious, and that was the worst part. He believed I was dead. He believed that he lived here, in Jay's mind, and that I was dead and here to torment Jay.

The worst part of all this was that Neil _was_ a part of Jay's mind. This must have meant that somewhere inside of him, Jay believed that I wasn't real, that I was dead. What had gone on to create a mind so cold, so barren of happiness.

"Neil, I'm sorry. I don't understand." I could feel the truths burning my tongue, "I am Jay's doctor, and I have sent an image of myself into his brain. Here. This is Jay's brain. I need to find Jay… inside his brain. Like… his inner soul, his spirit. We all exist in a corporeal form in our own minds. It's the image we hold of ourselves."

Neil blinked and gently reached out to grab my hand –left- and twine his fingers with mine. Strangely, it wasn't sexual, or overly romantic. It was tender, and desperate. I suddenly understood that everything Neil had been saying to me was the absolute truth _as he knew it_.

"Terry, if this isn't a trick, I need you to swear it on the one thing you hold dear. I have had many images of your spirit try to get to Jay in the last few years. I can't afford to let the real you get in." He cursed under his breath, "But if this is true… well, I can't afford not to bring you. And, just so you know Doctor? This isn't Jay's mind."

I growled, yanking my hand away from him. When had my temper gotten so out of control? "Yes, it is! I know because I hooked myself up to the TOUCH machine and Jay. This is his mind and I'm only an image inside of it. I only feel solid because that is the nature of the TOUCH." At Neil's blank look, I explained, "Odie invented it. Not the Odie you know. At least, I don't think so. TOUCH stands for Therapeutic Observation/Utilization of Cerebral Healing."

Neil's eyes narrowed, "That sounds like something Odie would invent. So, this TOUCH thing, it projects images of another person into someone's brain to help heal them… mentally?"

It was simplistic, but true. I was glad he seemed to be grasping the concept, and ashamed that the first time Odie had explained it to me, I had had no idea what he was rambling about. My heart beat heavily against my ribs when I thought of Odie.

"Yes, pretty much. So, could you take me to Jay? I need to see him, I need to help him wake up before police arrive." My voice was husky, full of tears. Neil's hand had once more wound its way into mine.

Instead of answering me, he smiled, "I thought you would keep your ring. Even after we broke it off, you wore it, always. Jay loved it," Neil's voice darkened, but with a smug pleasure, "And, he hated it. Sometimes, I hate myself for making him go through that. But he stole the best thing I had ever had from me."

I could feel my eyes widening when I realized that Neil was talking about me. The ring. The ring that he claimed was our promise to each other, once upon a time. The ring that had sent Jay into panic in his memory of first meeting me.

Suddenly, I was afraid that perhaps, this wasn't Jay's head. Perhaps, this was reality. Maybe I was right, I was the insane one. Maybe I had finally woken up in the glacier world that was reality.

Neil laughed, startling me out of my disturbing thoughts, "But, then I remember the look you gave me when I told you I knew you were in love with Jay. I could be jealous of Jay, I could _hate_ him. But I could never hate you. Neither of us ever could. You were his only weakness, an undefeated leader who feared nothing. You were the only thing that I loved more than myself. And you destroyed us both."

His words hurt me, even though I didn't know what he was talking about. They resonated within me, wild birds that were pecking at my heart and stomach. I was done talking with this beautiful, cruel and wonderful boy. I needed Jay. I needed Jay's warmth, his solidity, his strength.

"Take. Me. To. Jay." I demanded. I closed my green eyes that were too much like my Grandmamma's. I needed no reminders of what I had left behind and lost. I didn't want to stare into the depthless blue eyes of Neil and suddenly find out that all his lying words were the truth.

Instead of replying, Neil took my hand and started leading me. I didn't know where, I wasn't about to open my eyes and find out. I just walked with him, in silence. The silence that said too much. His hand held mine much too familiarly. I realized that I was holding his hand comfortably.

Just as I was almost ready to believe what he had been saying, a voice screamed my name. I could hear it, in my head, echoing and tinged with shock and desperation. I wanted to open my eyes, wanted to see who was calling me.

My hand was ripped away from Neil's and I knew I had to look. I opened my eyes against the light that was bouncing off the ice around me. It was too bright, and I squinted. When the blurriness finally receded, I found myself staring into chocolate eyes that I knew better than I knew myself.

Instead of thinking, I lunged towards Odie and hugged him. I held on and started to cry in dry, heaving sobs. The apparition, the phantom, the piece of Jay's mind held me back. He was solid in Jay's head, and holding me as I cried.

"Risa, Risa, baby, stop crying." He whispered. His words felt like magic to me and soon enough I stopped shuddering and looked once more into his face. It was perfect, the face of an angel. Odie looked just like my best friend.

I had known that Jay must have met Odie before. Herry was Odie's friend, and Herry knew Jay. Jay had also once mentioned Odie when he talked to me. Therefore, I was expecting to find Odie in Jay's head.

But what I wasn't expecting was the devastatingly beautiful woman beside him. She had hair like sunlight, cascading down her back in straight sheaths. Her skin was pale, paler than mine even, and eyes so warm and blue that I almost cried again bored into mine. I wondered who she was, and how Jay knew her, and how I could ever, ever hope to compete with this angel.

"Theresa." She said gently, "It's wonderful to finally meet you."

With those words, everything snapped into place. Her voice was beautiful, and tender. I knew that voice. I had talked to her the same day she had died. It was Mellian, Odie's fiancée.

Her words that day came back to haunt me for a moment. Her angel's voice had promised me, _"Anything that would want to hurt him would have to kill me first."_

It had killed her. And it had killed him.

I choked back tears and tried to concentrate on her face.

How in the world did Jay know her? This question made me regain my composure and I swallowed, hard.

"Mellian, Odie. I realize that you probably think I'm dead, alone with crazy Neil over here," I gestured to the blonde who had watched this whole scene, "But I need to see Jay."

Odie looked panicked for a moment and turned to glance at Mellian. She shrugged at his look and he turned back to me. I wondered what the silent communication was about.

"You're not dead Risa. Not yet anyway." He sighed, "I'm a gateway."

I stared blankly at him. I was pleased he didn't think I was dead, but why would he say YET? I didn't plan on dying for a while.

"What the hell is a gateway?" I snapped.

Odie looked shocked at my anger, which almost made me laugh. It figured, I had been a pretty bland and calm person in reality.

"A gateway is something or someone who holds open entries between two worlds." He said succinctly. I didn't know what he meant.

"Okay, what do you mean two worlds?"

Odie had always been good at explaining things to me, when he was alive. So when his next explanation made me feel like everything went crystal clear, I was not surprised.

"This entire universe is compromised of many, many worlds, all next to each other but not touching. In every world, there are a certain amount of things or people who hold those words together, like spider strands in a web. They are called gateways. Sometimes, the people who are gateways die, and a little more of the world is slipped away. But new gateways are made every day. For example, I have been a gateway all my life, and known about it. Now that I have taken Mellian to a different world, she has become a gateway as well."

I nodded at this. It made sense, even though it went against every law of physics I knew (even though I didn't know many). I decided that instead of believing every word that came out of his mouth, I would defend my argument.

"But Odie, this is Jay's mind. I came here through the TOUCH."

Odie frowned. "I know. I didn't foresee you doing that. See, Jay is a gateway too, for this world. When you went into his head using my invention, you didn't just land in his mind. He took you straight into this world."

I narrowed my eyes, "So what world is this?"

"The original world."

I rolled my eyes, "Honestly? The best name you could come up with was the Original world!? That's so lame and predictable."

Odie let out an unexpected laugh, "I should have known you wouldn't have believed it if it had a boring name. Well, it's true. This is the Original world, and it is called that because all the gateways exist here."

I smiled, "Alright. How did the gateways come to be?"

Here, Neil suddenly took over, "There were seven original human gateways and one gateway that was a goddess. The seven human gateways were descendants of Ancient Greek heroes. You may have heard of them: Achilles, Jason, Odysseus, Theseus, Atalanta, Hercules and Narcissus." Neil smiled as if he was sharing a secret.

"I have heard of a couple of them." I muttered.

"Okay, well, the seven descendants of these heroes were locked in a battle with Cronus, God of Time. The Greek Gods were helping them with this battle in any way they could."

I shook my head, "Okay. Well, this is absolutely unbelievable, but I'll go along with it."

"Don't be such a non-believer Risa. You've met more important people than you know." Odie warned.

I barely held myself back from snapping at him, but something in his eyes was angry and scared and I couldn't bring myself to hurt him. Not after I was suddenly allowed to touch him and hold him when I thought he was dead.

Neil continued as if he heard nothing, "Anyway, the teenagers defeated Cronus, but at a high cost. Two of the seven were killed, and two was severely injured; one died later of the injuries. The Gods, out of love and gratitude for the heroes, bound the souls of the seven to this world. This binding would make the living heroes immortal unless they were killed; and every time one of the seven did die, they would be reborn in this world. However, it didn't exactly work, and the spirits of the three heroes who had died managed to tie themselves intricately into all the worlds of this universe."

Odie scowled at Neil, "Not all the worlds. We only know of a few that they have been bound into. But we believe there is still many more they exist in. After they had done this, the two sprits of those heroes bound their friends' spirits into the fabric of each world."

I struggled to follow this, but I attempted to finish their fantastical story anyway, "And now the seven heroes are reborn in every world?"

Neil and Odie looked relieved, "Exactly. And only some of the seven reincarnations ever remember that they are gateways."

I snickered, "Let me guess, the two that died and originally wound their spirits into the world remember what they did. They are the only ones that know intuitively that they are gateways."

Odie smirked, "That's my girl. Very good."

"So, what were their names?"

At this, Odie looked wildly around, as if searching for a savoir. Mellian laughed; sounding much too much like a chorus of angels for my self confidence to ever be the same. Neil growled, as if the question annoyed him. But he answered, so I suppose that in the end, the scary but beautiful man beats the genius in fearlessness.

"Can't you guess?" His words were acidic and I flinched back, "The names of the seven heroes, descendants of the Ancient Greek Heroes?" He laughed maniacally, and I knew that Jay wasn't the only one who needed mental help here. He lifted up his hands and started ticking off fingers, as if listing off something he had learned by rote, "The Warrior, Archie, was the descendant of Achilles. The Brains, Odie, was the descendant of Odysseus. The Good-Looking, Neil, was the descendant of Narcissus. The Hunter, Atlanta, descendant of Atalanta and The Brawn, Herry, descendant of Hercules." After listing these, Neil stared straight at her and gave the next two names bitterly. "The Fighter, Theresa, the descendant of Theseus. And the Leader, Jay, descendant of Jason."

I shook my head, wanting to laugh at his ridiculous statements but not being able to because for some strange reason, his words felt so incredibly _right_. Like I was just waiting for someone to point out that I was descended from a Greek Legend. So instead of denying it or agreeing, I just kept shaking my head. When Odie hugged me, I realized that tears were still streaming down my face.

"I'm not a legend. I am not a gateway. I am not anything special at all." I said into Odie's shoulder.

"No Risa, you aren't a legend. And you weren't a gateway. Like I said, this is the Original planet, where it all happened. And there are only seven gateways. You are a reincarnated version of the original Theresa, one of the heroes and one of the gateways. She died." Odie rocked me as he explained this.

I pulled back, "Do I look like her? Is that why everyone thinks I am her and in this place I am a spirit?"

Neil nodded, "You look exactly like her. A little less confident, more scared and definitely thinner than her, but otherwise, exactly like her."

I scrunched up my face at the 'thinner' comment. I had been trying to gain my lost weight back for weeks now; I knew I looked too much like a skeleton to be healthy.

"Often times when a reincarnated version of someone, such as yourself, has the original of themselves die, they suffer physical trauma. Ever since Theresa, the original, died here, you have lost a ton of weight." Odie told me. In the privacy of my mind I cursed the damn original Theresa. She had everything! The original planet, the fame, the body _and_ she had Jay.

"How did she die?" I asked.

Neil sighed, "When? She died many times. The very first time she died, we found her in her room with her wrists slit."

I gasped, and thought wildly that I still had my bottle of sleeping pills and Jack Daniels beside me. It was a way out, and sadly enough, I was ready to do the same thing. "Why!?"

Neil put his face in his hand, "Archie and I are the only ones who remember the way you –the way _she_- looked when we found out Jay was dead. Jay was the one who was seriously injured in our battle against Cronus. She ran home and killed herself. We never would have thought her capable of it. It was to be with him, I know it."

I sucked in air so hard I thought my head would explode, "You remember that!? Wasn't it forever ago?!"

Neil nodded, "Yes, a long, long time ago. Many lifetimes have passed since then. See, when the Gods bound our spirits through the world, it made us immortal. Since Odie and Herry died in the battle-"

At this sentence I stared at Odie who informed me, "Yes. Herry and I were the ones who took a hold of the spell and bound it through every world. The Herry you know, actually. He remembers it all. We are the only gateways who are ever reborn knowing what we are."

Neil scowled at the interruption and continued. I got the feeling he was used to everyone always paying attention to him, "Anyway, when those two died in battle, and Jay later died of his injuries, the Gods did that for us. It went awry, but it worked. Archie and I have lived since that time as neither of us have ever been killed nor killed ourselves."

"Well, hopefully Archie hasn't gone that far." Odie muttered.

I didn't want to bring up this Archie person. He sounded too much like the Archie I knew, the person I had done TOUCH treatment on before. And that Archie, Archie Jeremy Killes, had the memories Neil was speaking of.

And I had thought he was crazy. My world spun off kilter for a moment.

"Are we talking about Archie Jeremy Killes? The man who was recently found to have abducted my best friend Atlanta!?"

Neil's expressive eyes widened to a point where I thought they would fall out. Finally they moved back into his head and he looked ten years older, even though I know believed his tale of immortality.

"So, he found her." Was all he said about it. I wondered if Atlanta remembered being a gateway.

"What is Atlanta all about anyway? Does she remember?"

Odie shook his head, "No, Atlanta lived through the battle, but she was later murdered by a man named Roger. Archie and Roger had been friends long, long ago. Archie hunted him down and killed him after what he did to Atlanta. That poor man waited so damn long for her to be reborn again, and it was an injustice what happened."

Odie's words were so bitter and vehement that I had to ask, even though I knew I shouldn't.

"What happened when Atlanta was reborn?" I was desperate to know. Would Archie in my world hurt Atlanta?

Neil glanced to the ground and I saw tears in his eyes, "She was reborn, and Archie went to see her in the hospital afterwards. He wasn't trying to be creepy; he wanted to make sure she was safe. She was. But she was diagnosed with leukemia and died only months later."

I knew tears were pouring down my face, "No wonder he was so cold and insane."

Odie was the only one who knew that I had been inside his mind, "He had every reason. I'm actually shocked he didn't pull you into the Original world when you did the TOUCH on him. He knew who you were the instant he saw you, as did Herry and I. As did Jay."

My heart sunk lower than my toes in that second. Odie, Herry and Jay, were all only with me because of some Theresa hero I had never met. I couldn't be the woman they thought I was. She was brave and beautiful and wonderful. I was boring and scared. Atlanta was probably only attracted to me because of our previous connections.

"Why am I here?" I whispered. Mellian pushed Odie aside.

"Because Jay loves _you_, Risa. You. He loved Theresa when she was alive, but she has been dead for a long time now. You are a different woman, and no matter what happens, Jay was born to love you."

I growled, "Isn't that just every little girl's dream. That there is a man out there who was born to love them. It doesn't happen Mellian."

For a split second, I thought I had been dragged back into reality as my cheek stung. Then I realized that Mellian, a woman so gentle and kind, had slapped me. Her hair was dark brown and her eyes had gone black. I didn't understand.

"I believe that Theresa. And you're a fool if you don't. What they didn't tell you," She motioned to Odie and Neil who looked as shocked as I felt, "Is that there is something called a Soulmate. Have you heard of that?"

I nodded.

"Well, good. Soulmates are two people who are bound by the Fates to be together, in any realm, any world and through anything. Archie and Atlanta are Soulmates. They cannot be separated. Whenever Archie is reborn, Atlanta is. And so forth. Same with Theresa and Jay."

I laughed, "So he is doomed to love me no matter what. Well that just makes a girl know she's wanted."

Neil had ripped me to my feet and he looked so angry I thought he was going to hit me. I thought he would hit me and hit me and never stop. The ice in his eyes was even worse than the landscape around me.

"You are being ridiculous." He snapped, "Let me tell you something about Theresa, the original. We were set to be married. She hadn't even met Jay yet. Two weeks before our wedding –two weeks! - She ran into him at a store. Three days after that, I knew she didn't love me anymore. I told her I couldn't marry her when she loved another. Now, don't go thinking Theresa was some suicidal, cheating girl. She was beautiful and kind and wonderful, everything you would ever want to be. But the pull of Jay was magnetic to her, and to him."

Neil let me go and he sighed heavily, "What I mean is, you are both locked in a trap and neither of you will ever escape. The Fates have your life strings so twined together, that if one of you dies, the other will follow. That's why Theresa killed herself. That's why she was reborn to be with Jay. That's why she ended up with him, not me. And that is why, you stand here now."

"It's meant to be." Odie said.

I smiled, and for once, I truly knew that they meant it. Jay did love me, I only had to think back on the memory I had seen through his eyes to know it. I was being silly, but it was probably just mental trauma over finding out that I had reincarnations all over the worlds.

"I'm sorry I'm being foolish. But, why, if this is another world, is it so inhospitable?"

Neil smirked, "Well, it's your fault. This is you gateway, now that you are here. You are moulding it to be like this, and if I'm not mistaken, it's all your worst fears."

"That Jay's mind would be cold and cruel. That I would be stuck in this lab coat for the rest of eternity." I said. And as I said these words, they seemed to fall away, stuck into the atmosphere. My clothing shifted into a beautiful black dress and high heels. As surely as I knew this, the ground around me changed to grass and the sky was blue. I realized that I wanted my gateway to look like the one place I had loved more than any other.

My parent's house sat on my left, complete with tree swing and green grass. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the sun beat down on me ferociously.

Neil laughed, but this time, there was a trace of anger in it, "It figures she would make her landscape their house."

"You knew my parents?" I asked, quite shocked and overwhelmed at the possibility.

"No, Risa. He means you and Jay. This was your house. Jay is just inside. Are you ready to see him now?"

I breathed heavily, wonderment and excitement at my new knowledge filling me. I was going to see Jay. He was going to love me. Everything would change now, and we could live happily ever after.

"Wait." I said. I turned to see the small pond that had always been beside my parents' house, and now my house. I took the trigger that would suck me straight back into my world out of my pocket.

"What's that?" Asked Mellian.

I touched the button lovingly and smiled as I realized I wasn't anything like the Original Theresa. She wanted to escape.

"It's my only way back." I said. I threw it as hard as I could, straight into the pond. We watched it sink to the bottom, and I giggled. I glanced around at all the shocked faces and shrugged. "Guess you're all stuck with me. Let's go see Jay. I'm starving."

Neil let out a peal of laughter and Mellian skipped forwards. Odie grabbed my hand and tugged me towards the house. The simple and peaceful house drew my heart towards it almost as powerfully as the shocked face in the window did.

_// I Look At You Walk Through The Door, It Never Has Felt Like This Before //_


	8. Part Three: Original World

_Part 3: Original World_

A/N: Sorry for the long update time, I have been hardcore working on original stuff! I'm pretty excited, might be looking for a publishing company soon : ) Anyway, this is the **LAST** chapter of Delusion, but Desperation is just starting. This story DOES continue, but if you don't feel like reading Desperation, Delusion will stand alone.

As for my Anya's Spotlight, haha, I am going to bring to our attention _jennieman_ and _Dragon1992_, firstly, because both of their works are amazing! _Jennieman_ really inspired me (And I believe others) to explore the ArchiexTheresa factor in CotT. _Dragon_ is just a kind person, who has been a friend to me many times before (Not to mention she is AMAZING as a writer!) So, those are the people who we are lucky to have in CotT today, in my opinion! I want to read a few stories this week, so expect to see me up and about and reviewing!

Disclaimer: I own only my own plotline! None of the characters, except for Mellian belong to me. And no one guessed who Theresa's Grandmamma was! You will find out in this chapter though.

_// My Head Has Taken A Spin, And You're Under My Skin And I Can't Get You Out //_

It was like walking into a memory, except that I couldn't remember any of it. The grass beneath my feet felt familiar, and looking upon my parents' house, and apparently mine, I nearly cried. I was locked in a world I had never once been to, with no escape. But despite this, I was happier than I had been since my parent's had died.

The door was green, not quite the vibrant shade of my eyes, but I grasped the bronze doorknob and turned. It was brave, and it was unlike the old me. But it was what I wanted, and I was prepared to have what I wanted, finally.

The door creaked open, and what I saw inside both astounded me and shocked me. It was the same layout as my parent's house, living room on the left, kitchen straight and parlour right. Stairs in the front, straight to bedrooms. But it was different, set in creams and rich golds or pastels, with pictures lining every wall space. Each picture was different; some where I could easily recognize my companions and even Theresa/myself as teenagers. I could see three pictures of three different weddings, but all of Jay and me, at obviously different times.

"We were married?" I whispered. Jay hadn't come to the door yet.

Odie laughed, "Yes, constantly. In every life you two would get married. We got so sick of attending weddings."

I could feel my stomach dropping, my heart pounding. Only hours ago, I was a boring woman who was too skinny and too terrified to grasp her own life and live it. Now, I was Theresa, immortal descendant of a Greek Hero, a legend of my own.

And I was not shying away from my life anymore.

Jay stepped into my view, looking too much like a Greek Hero to be anything but. How had I not seen it before? His eyes were tired, and his mouth was set in a grim line. For an instant, anger flared inside me. I couldn't think of why I would hate this responsible set of his face unless I had hated it in another life.

But I ignored it. Because I was not just a clone of another woman –a better woman. I was me.

"Hey Mr. Cameron." I said. It slipped out. I could have called him Jay, but I didn't. Maybe so he wouldn't be afraid I was a dead woman walking around to torture and haunt him.

Jay's smile broke through, and my heart pounded overtime. He laughed slightly and walked towards me.

"Well, hello Dr. Davis." He murmured. His tanned hand came up to carefully touch my cheek. For an instant, all we did was stare at each other, his hand our only source of contact.

"I know everything." I told him. I believed it too.

Jay sighed, "So what do you think?"

"Spring time. Beach. Do you think Archie and Atlanta will be back by then?" I pondered this as I turned to a side entry table. A photo of a tiny girl was sitting on it.

"I beg your pardon?" I had confused him, which was what I had wanted, but now I was curious again. The blood had drained from my face; I could practically feel my hands shaking.

"Jay, did we ever have children?" My voice was barely a hoarse murmur, but I could tell he heard me because his face paled as well.

"No. In our last incarnation you got pregnant, and we were ecstatic. But five months into your pregnancy, there was a freak car accident. You died on scene."

I knew I was choking on a lump in my throat, but all I could do was stare at him. "You lived?"

He turned away, "I wasn't with you. I had the flu. I lived without you, until this time. You are a new incarnation. I am the last one."

That made sense, in a convoluted horrifyingly sad way. Jay had lost his wife more times than he could count and his unborn child as well. She wondered if he could remember as far back as Neil.

"Jay, can you remember back to the time when we were our originals?"

He smiled, "Sometimes, if something reminds me, I will. Or I can dream about it sometimes. But it's usually only the happiest memories; which I am thankful for."

"What do you remember?" I asked. The door shut behind me and I knew that Neil, Odie and Mellian had gone outside. For privacy?

Jay turned to me and stepped close. I almost wanted to step away, thinking of my hospital rules and patient-doctor relationships. But I wasn't there anymore, and I was allowed to be whoever I wanted and do whatever I wanted. I stepped even closer; his hands were touching my waist.

He leaned down, his lips barely centimetres away. "I remember our first kiss."

"What was it like?" I demanded. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted, I wanted. Everything. I wanted everything he could give me, and I would give him everything in return.

But his eyes were riveting, and I couldn't lift myself onto my tiptoes to get the kiss I wanted when I wanted to hear him speak. And he did. Speak that is. But it was more like a story, a movie, playing inside my head, as if I remembered it too.

"It was heaven and hell, all put together. You were lying in water, your hair heavy and stuck to your back. I thought you were dead, and I wanted to just float into the water with you in my arms forever instead of getting up. But I couldn't, because you wouldn't have wanted that, and I had a team. You opened the eyes that I loved though, despite all belief that you were dead. You smiled at me; it was in that instant that I knew I loved you; loved you more than our duty, more than my life, more than anything. You were my world. So when I kissed you, it was like holding the sun, or touching heaven."

Then, because of the beauty of the story, or because of the desperation in his voice, I leaned up and kissed him. It was the second time, in this lifetime of mine, but it felt like the first time. I had a feeling I would never get used to kissing him, of touching him.

Being close to heaven couldn't even describe what Jay felt like. The sun, the moon, my heart. All were much too simple to describe every emotion coursing through me.

But he had said it, had he not? My world. It was holding my world in my arms, and knowing that as long as it remained there, I could live forever content.

He pulled away. "What did you mean when you said spring and beach?"

I laughed, "I was staring at the wedding pictures. I wanted to torture Neil and Odie more, giving them another one to attend."

Jay's mouth fell open; the temptation to kiss it was nearly too powerful to resist.

"You would marry me?!"

I frowned, "Did you miss the memo that we were Soulmates?"

"But, Terry. You have," he gestured, as if he didn't want to say the words he was saying, "a life. A world to go home to. You don't want to stay here with me, and I can't life there with you."

The strangest urge to laugh hit me, and before I knew it I was doing just that. Laughing, and holding Jay to me, tighter and tighter, until I could almost pretend that we were merging into one person. Jay was confused, but not pushing me away, despite that I probably was acting insane and laughing at his fears.

"Jay." I calmed myself, "I have nothing in the world you met me in. I have a good job, which I am going to be fired from. My one best friend is dead; my other has been kidnapped by the man who loves her. I would be locked up in jail for the rest of eternity, and Grandmamma is about to die. I hate to break this to you, but I have nothing left there, except for my car."

A pang of regret for my car, and for not trying harder to find Atlanta hit me. But it was over as soon as Jay's arm's reflexively tightened.

"Terry, you don't have to stay here if you-"

"Jay, shut up." I demanded. He obliged. "I love you."

Every tense line in his face automatically lessened, and he grinned, a little boy grin that made me want to giggle and kiss him.

"Really?"

I laughed, "Yes. I searched all my life for someone like you, but I never knew what I was searching for. But I love you. And I am going to stay with you, even if you don't want me to. You are my world."

He kissed me, quickly, and softly. It was something like an unspoken promise, or a reminder of everything we had.

"You have, and will always be, my world. I love you too. I will make this sacrifice worth it Terry, I will."

I held him, gently this time. I rested my head on his chest and knew that it was okay. Jay was mine, I was okay, and we were all going to live happily ever after.

"It's not a sacrifice Jay. Not at all." I whispered, "I have everything I could have ever wanted."

Jay frowned, and I knew I had sparked a memory in him. But instead of telling me this memory, whatever it was that was bothering him, he scooped me into his arms. I was shockingly glad I had lost weight, and he didn't grunt when I was pulled into his grasp.

"Jay! What are you doing?!" I tried to not shriek.

Jay smirked, "You said to me once, in another life that you had everything you had ever wanted. But it wasn't true. I'm not making the same mistake twice."

I didn't know what to say to him! I _did_ have everything I wanted, other than certain impossibilities. I wanted Atlanta back, I wanted Herry with us on this world, and I wanted to thank my Grandmamma for giving me this chance. But he seemed bound and determined, so I had to risk diffusing his carefree mood to satisfy my curiosity.

"What do I want!?" I asked, giggling at his tickling fingers carrying me towards the stairs. He stopped at my question and set me down, one step up on the stairs so I was eye level with him. His face wasn't stressed; it was beautiful and endlessly tender.

"You want a family of your own. And I want to be a part of your family?" His voice nearly made me shiver it was so sweet and sultry, but the way he raised his sentence into a question was the true catch. A lump formed in my throat once more when I thought of children with his deep, sensitive eyes, or my flaming hair.

"I want you a part of my family." My words were a whisper. We stared at each other, for a long time. I wasn't sure if we were just taking in the miraculous sight, or trying to learn everything with a glance. But we stared for a long time, because eventually Odie, Mellian and Neil came back in.

Neil was the first to speak, and his voice was awed and horrified, "Jay, we have company. For Theresa."

I was shocked. I didn't even live in this world, and I had someone visiting me. Could people sense that I had returned? Jay followed me outside, letting me lead into the sunshine. The porch was clean, and I noticed for the first time that the view was beautiful.

But it was the woman standing at the bottom of the porch stairs that made me freeze.

She was beyond beautiful, the most sensual creature I had ever seen. Lips like roses, red on a porcelain face that held so much love and depth I wanted to cry. Her hair hung like sunlight, or a frozen waterfall down her back, skimming the top of her willowy hips.

But it wasn't all of these details that made me freeze. I should have been jealous, of her beauty, or her knowledge that shone through her eyes. I was not. I was terrified, and hopefully and suddenly, suddenly very clear on who I was.

All because the eyes that I was staring into were a luminescent green, the same shade and lustre as my own. But as I watched, they faded abruptly, into an icy blue that made me tingle with love and hatred.

"Grandmamma." I breathed. It was ridiculous, calling the woman barely my senior my Grandmamma. But it was true.

She laughed; bells ringing into the afternoon, but she did not answer me. I wasn't clear on her identity yet, even though in my heart I knew it was true. So I asked another question.

"Persephone?"

Now she smiled indulgently, and I noticed without malice that her teeth were straight and perfect.

"Yes Child."

Now I knew. Grandmamma or Persephone, I would always be Child in her view. But for the first time in my life, I knew that she had never meant that in a cruel way. I realized that Persephone had helped the seven of us to survive our deadly battle, but in truth, she had done it for me. Child. I was her child, and she had followed my every incarnation.

"Why would you watch over me and not the others, Persephone?" It seemed strange to call her Grandmamma now.

"I tried to watch over them all, but you will and always have been my daughter in this Theresa." Her voice was soft and lyrical.

"Why would you have stayed as my Grandmamma, I hated you." I felt ungrateful, but justified. Grandmamma had never been there for me.

"If you had loved me, would you have thrown away your escape line to that world? You had to have nothing to lose if you wanted to keep Jay."

Gratitude and adoration filled me faster than even I could believe. Persephone had gone through this entire incarnation with me hating her, despite her love for me just so I would be happy in the end.

"I love you Persephone." I was whispering again, descending the steps to enter myself in an embrace. Persephone held me with everything she had, and I realized she was shaking so badly because she was crying her eyes out onto my shoulder.

"I love you too Theresa; I love all of you." Her voice was nearly as hoarse as mine.

We stood there, for eternity, but I knew when she disengaged from my still clutching arms that it had only been a few minutes. Her face had dried, but her now blue eyes, so unfamiliar and so familiar at the same time were red-rimmed.

"I must leave you child."

I knew it was coming, I had known since I saw her. But I still felt my face scrunch up in sadness, blocking tears. And I knew my stomach was doing flip flops, even though I couldn't feel anything at this moment.

"Where are you going?" But I knew, even as I asked the question. She had already told me.

Her smile was tremulous, but I knew there was happiness in her sadness. "I am going to die. To finally go to the Underworld."

"To be with Hades."

Persephone nodded, "It is your last incarnation. Everyone's last incarnation, although you are still immortal. If you die however, you are dead. I am unravelling the gateways."

This made me freeze, "Wait! My body, my other body, and Jay's other body is still in there. What will happen to it?!"

Her eyes went vacant, as if she was seeing another time, or another world. The idea wasn't so preposterous.

"Fate will take them where they must go." Her answer was cryptic and aggravating, but I was still too enraptured and indebted to her to be angry.

"And Archie and Atlanta!? Will they ever make it to the Original World?"

She smiled a cruel smile. Something I remembered from both my original incarnation and Persephone, and the one I was in right now and my Grandmamma. She was wonderful, beautiful and loving, but she had a core of steel that I hated to test.

"Archie and Atlanta have their own destiny apart from yours. You must not interfere with the Fates. We have already, one too many times. Let the duo share their story. It's what they always wanted." Her words were flippant and slightly harsh. But I knew she wanted to keep it mysterious, keep me from rushing into that world and ruining everything, including my future.

It was my happily ever after, or my best friend. I wanted to be the friend I had always been, and choose my best friend. I wanted to rush to her side, save her and take pride in the fact that I was a great person.

But for the first time, I realized I wasn't. I was selfish, and cold, and maybe too much like Persephone for my liking.

"I will not interfere." My words were bitter, "But Persephone?"

Could she refuse my last demand? Did I dare to demand something of the Goddess I owed everything to? For Atlanta I did. Perhaps I was better than I thought.

"Yes Child."

I swallowed, "Please give Atlanta the chance to be happy. She deserves it also."

Persephone nearly glowed as she raised her hand to touch my cheek softly. Her hand pulled away, and from far away I felt more than saw something rise out of the pond in the yard. The remote that could have gotten me out of the Original World landed in her hand. Magic. My gateway out.

"I will give Atlanta every chance I can afford to give." She whispered. "I must take this. It's a gateway, and it cannot exist any longer."

I didn't wish her goodbye, and a sense of déjà vu washed over me. When I had last said goodbye to my Grandmamma, she had gotten the last word in as well. But it seemed to be a habit, and as much as I loved this woman, as much as I hated her, I could never say goodbye.

She disappeared, her skin glowing and looking more beautiful and ethereal than I believed possible. She was gone.

I turned back to Jay, standing just behind me. He looked awed and scared. I knew why, but I had some words to share with my family –my real family!-, words of comfort.

"She is going to try and save Archie and Atlanta and send them here. We won't dare to go to other worlds while she is tearing gateways."

Jay was still frowning, "Theresa, in our past incarnations, we died often. From strange and extreme things. If that happens, it doesn't matter if we are immortal, we are dead."

I smiled; I knew the answer to this one to. "Remember when she said that we had interfered with the Fates too many times? They were angry at us, trying to right the balance by killing us. They won't do it anymore, Theresa would have bargained for no interference from them either. We are safe from strange and coincidental deaths."

Jay started smiling, the most welcome sight I had ever seen. Odie and Mellian also looked euphoric, but the expression on Neil's face left me breathless and hurting.

I knew why he looked that way also. It was because Jay was united with me, Odie with Mellian and hopefully very soon Archie and Atlanta would be home. It would only be Herry (if he even made it back to the Original World) and Neil, alone for eternity.

Immortality wasn't a gift when there was no one to share it with.

But Neil's problems were not my own, and with a shock I realized that I had everything I would ever need. I launched myself to Jay then, knowing he would catch me, kiss me, and love me forever.

He did so, and we kissed. It was more than the first time. I could feel the water pressing around me, the memory of our first kiss imposing itself upon this one. But I pushed it away, ready to submerge myself in the taste of Jay's lips and the sunshine on my back and the woman I was becoming with Jay's help.

Terry.

"I love you." I said as soon as I pulled away. Odie and Mellian were still there, staring into each other's eyes, but Neil was gone. I did not let it phase me.

Jay stroked my cheek with his hand, "I love you too Terry, forever. I always have, always will."

I turned my cheek to his chest, letting it rest there, hearing and feeling the pounding of his heart. The sun was setting in this world, on my place with the house I shared with the man I had always loved. I prayed my friends would make it back and we could be happy together.

But happily ever afters always come with conditions, and with Jay's arms wrapped around me, it didn't matter what the conditions were. I had been driven to Delusions, waiting for Jay to come to me and love me, only to realize that it had been reality all along.

My reality here, now, was beautiful.

_// You Are A Sweet Delusion Yet You Feel So Real //  
_

A/N: **Finished**! For all intents and purposes, Desperation is the sequel :) I hope you enjoyed Delusion. Review!


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